BUSINESS
01/23/2013 11:52 am ET

Standard Chartered CEO Complains About Being 'Attacked By Regulators' Just After Massive Scandal

We can only hope that the World Economic Forum in Davos keeps going on forever, because the thin Swiss air seems to be making bankers stay stupid things, which helps keep us employed, if not entertained.

Take, for example, Standard Chartered CEO Peter Sands, who in a CNBC interview at Davos on Wednesday bawled about banks "being attacked from all sides" by regulators around the world.

Who on earth is picking on poor Standard Chartered? It's the U.S. Justice Department, which in December bullied the poor British bank into forking over $327 million just because it was allegedly laundering money for several years for Iran, Sudan, Libya and Burma.

Also viciously attacking Standard Chartered is New York's top banking regulator, Benjamin Lawsky, who in August slammed StanChart's head in its locker until it handed over $340 million, also because of money-laundering allegations.

Mind you, Standard Chartered has not actually been charged with any crimes, nor were any current or former employees of Standard Chartered, because all of the alleged laundering was done by money-laundering robots, we imagine. But, still, they are getting attacked so hard!

Also whining at Davos was JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, although the constant whining is sort of his thing. What's he on about this time? "Regulators are trying to do too much, too fast," he sobbed on Wednesday.

This comes just after Dimon had his pay cut in half, to a paltry $11.5 million, because of his inability to stop his bank from blowing $6 billion on bad derivatives trades. A strong Volcker Rule prohibiting the bank from making such big bets might have saved the bank from taking such losses, but even the weak Volcker Rule we are going to get has been delayed until 2014. Meanwhile the vast bulk of the Dodd-Frank rules meant to stop the banks from creating another financial meltdown are still not in place. But still, yes, too much, too soon with the regulation.

Anyway, please keep talking, oxygen-deprived bankers!

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