Siri, do I need a Magnum?

That's a question that your iPhone can now answer for you, thanks to a new prophylactic suggestion and safe-sex education app called Condom Size. Condom Size's main function is getting an accurate measurement of both the length and girth of the male genitalia in order to identify the best condom for that man. In order to get that measurement, the app asks the man to hold his erect member up against the edge of the iPhone and use the inch or centimeter markings to obtain an accurate lengthwise appraisal:

condom size app

One coworker, upon hearing a description of this app, said, "I am never borrowing anyone else's iPhone again."

After you enter your length and girth measurements, the app recommends a condom, as well as your own "world ranking" (how you compare to the average international length and girth). From there, you can view a chart of different condoms and purchase them on Amazon, read a few condom tips or enjoy some fun condom facts.

The app, a disclaimer urges upon startup, is for entertainment purposes only, and the team behind the program doesn't appear to have any sort of medical credentials behind it; Condom Size's official webpage does feature some extended information, though all of it appears to have been copied from the "Human Penis Size" Wikipedia page.

In other words: Don't take the Condom Size app too seriously. It's good for a distraction but probably should not dictate your condom-purchasing habits. And if you're going to use it, please: Wipe off your screen with a WetNap when you're done.

You can download Condom Size for the iPhone here.

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  • Spy Guide

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    Sure, there are parents out there who are genuinely concerned about their child's well-being, but those who invest $4.02 in this app might possibly be crossing a line. According to the Google Play description of <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.mobilemonkeys.shadow.stealthsms&feature=more_from_developer#?t=W251bGwsMSwxLDEwMiwibmV0Lm1vYmlsZW1vbmtleXMuc2hhZG93LnN0ZWFsdGhzbXMiXQ.." target="_hplink">Stealth SMS Parental Control</a>, developed by Mobile Monkeys, this app will send all of a child's incoming and outgoing text messages directly to his or her parent's phone. All a parent has to do is sneakily install the app on the phone of his or her child. To be fair, the developers <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.mobilemonkeys.shadow.stealthsms&feature=more_from_developer#?t=W251bGwsMSwxLDEwMiwibmV0Lm1vYmlsZW1vbmtleXMuc2hhZG93LnN0ZWFsdGhzbXMiXQ.." target="_hplink">advise parents</a> thus: "Before you take any drastic measures and have your children grounded, spend a little time investigating in what is really going on."

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  • Creepy

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