When the zombies finally take over, all beautiful women will have red-flecked, gooey faces.
But it will be blood and guts dripping from their cheeks and chins, not tomato sauce.
This week HuffPost Weird News didn't just passively report Pizza Hut's release of pizza perfume, a fragrance any self-respecting woman would proudly wear, if she were at her own murder trial pleading insanity.
Instead, we staged our own Vogue-style perfume ad. HuffPost's house photographer Damon Dahlen conceptualized and shot the spot. Weird News editor Emily Thomas grabbed a bridesmaid gown from HuffPost Style's legendary fashion closet, and played the part to comic perfection.
Andy Campbell called Pizza Hut for comment. They declined. One flack did note, however, that the pizza in our goofy ad was not Pizza Hut's.
You nailed us, PH. We'll settle for a non-franchise NYC street slice any day -- even smeared on our faces Emily Thomas style.
Emily's grandmother was among the first to comment on this story. We know now where she gets her sense of humor.
As for the cloying fragrance, it might rightly be renamed "eau d'Cinnabon."
Meanwhile, the zombies were taking over, at least according to KRTV, a Montana TV station that was hacked so that its emergency broadcast system played an alert warning that "dead bodies are rising from their graves."
At the same time, the residents of Kingston, R.I., faced the monstrous reality of a 12-foot ice penis looming over its town.
The pricksicle quickly became the town's leading controversy. With police breathing down her neck, Raylene Worthington, mother of the 16-year-old responsible for the snow sculpture, took it down. She told us, "It's just a big pair of balls now."
In other news, Lee Speigel reported on the DNA tests that may confirm the existence of Bigfoot, while Mexico finally laid to rest Julia Pastrana, better known as the "Ape Woman."
The remains of the hairy-faced woman -- a singing, dancing carnival star more than a century and a half ago -- had been saved as a collectable, much like the taxidermy two-headed turtle my wife bought me for Christmas.
We're not saying Bigfoot exists -- and if Lee Speigel doubts the DNA tests, so do I -- but the weird news world has seen many strange things, even this week, including a two-legged cat and a one-ton, 20-foot crocodile, named Lolong.
The Guinness-celebrated giant reptile enjoyed an elaborate, flower-laden funeral in the Philippines, despite the fact he was accused of killing people.
And if you, too, are now in the mood for condolences, watch members of HuffPost Weird News and AOL dance in our belated version of the Harlem Shake
But what was the weirdest story of the week? You decide. Scroll through the gallery and vote below.
The emergency alert system atKRTV-TV in Great Falls was hacked during the "The Steve Wilkos Show" to send out a message that "dead bodies are rising from their graves" in several counties. The Zombie Apocalypse had begun, or so they said. (Read More)
At 20.24 feet from snout to tail and weighing more than a ton, Lolong was the Guinness-certified world's longest crocodile. A remote southern Philippine town went into mourning over the saltwater reptile's death, even though it was suspected of killing people. (Read More)
A 12-foot-tall snow penis erected from the remnants of the mid February blizzard got a rise out of Rhode Island neighbors, who have called police twice on the phallus. (Read More)
A meteor streaked across the sky in western Siberia on Feb. 15 and exploded with the force of 20 atomic bombs. In the early moments after the incident, many people mistook the meteor for a UFO. (Read More)
After months of waiting for a peer-reviewed scientific journal to publish findings on the validity of alleged Bigfoot DNA evidence, the time has come for answers. But is there enough empirical evidence to finally confirm that the elusive, tall, hairy man-beast of North America really exists? (Read More)
A New Zealand woman's 2-gallon-a-day Coca-Cola habit probably contributed to her death, a medical examiner ruled (Read More)
Pizza Hut mau have been joking -- or just grasping for some cheap advertising -- when they introduced pizza perfume. If so, we took the joke one step further, by imagining our own Vogue-style ad, staring a saucy Emily Thomas and the drool-dripping Andy Campbell and Will McGuinness. (Read More)
OK, we weren't the first to do the Harlem Shake, but we're probably not the last. And we had fun. Where's yours? (Read More)
When Caffrey, a yellow-eyed, grey Persian cat, was 3, he was struck by a car and lost his left hind leg. Four months ago, the kitty lost another paw, this time to a malignant growth. But that doesn't stop this frisky feline. (Read More)
With her hairy face and body, jutting jaw and other deformities, Julia Pastrana became known as Mexico's "ape woman." Her remains had been on display for a century and a half. Finally, she has been laid to rest. (Read More)