Like dollar stores thriving during the recession, the sequester could prove a boon for D.C.-area daters.
As one Craigslister put it, now's the time for "furlough daytime fun in bed." (That ad was entitled "SEXquester?")
Who else is looking to make the most out of the federal budget cuts, socially-speaking? Click through this slideshow to find out.
For the sake of the children, and those still working in offices, we've edited out the photos that accompany these ads. For the sake of those who'd like to see those photos, we've included links. And all readers should be prepared for adult language.
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/3636986178.html">Here's the ad</a>
<a href="http://baltimore.craigslist.org/m4w/3650883635.html">Here's a link to the ad</a>
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4m/3653680280.html">Here's a link to the ad</a>
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/3657109570.html">Here's the ad</a>
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/cas/3654397344.html">Here's a link to the ad</a>
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/cas/3651728017.html">Here's the ad</a>
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/cas/3652676046.html">Here's the ad</a>, which, warning!, features quite explicit photos.
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/cas/3646915817.html">Here's the ad</a> -- it doesn't explicitly mention sequester, but it's certainly hinting at it.
<a href="http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/stp/3656723616.html">Here's the ad</a> -- and someone please say something that will cheer this person up.
Also on HuffPost:
Dr. Carol Queen of the Antique Vibrator Museum shows off sex toys used in the early 20th century
Sex Toys Explained: The Time To Squirt Watch
A new watch is designed to help people bring their female partners to orgasm.
Sex Toys Of The Future: Real Touch Interactive
Madyson explains an electronic sex toy that allows people to have sex interactively online.
Sex Toys Of The Future: Male Chastity Device
Male chastity devices explained
Sex Toys Explained: Crops And Floggers
Lucy Vonn explains the difference between a crop and a flogger.
Sex Toys Explained: Electrical Play
Dr. Clockwork shows how quack medical devices from the Victorian era are being used as sex toys.
Dr. Macaura's Pulsocon Blood Circulator (1880-1920)
With a strong vibration and a sound like a ratchet, this early model reminds us that what vibrators do best besides provide massage is foster blood circulation -- the key to early vibrators' claims that they could address a wide range of health complaints.
Dr. Johansen's Vibrator (1904-1907)
Homes without electricity could still enjoy the health benefits of vibration with hand-crank mechanical models, which were available in both Europe and the US. At least one model was also made in Japan.
Detwiller Pneumatic Vibrator (1906)
Look closely at the graphic on the inside lid of the Detwiller's case and you'll see the tank of compressed air that made this model vibrate. A very unusual design that did not make the marketplace headway that electricity-powered vibrators did.
Polar Cub (1928)
The rather simple design of the vibrator itself is left in the dust by its opulently-decorated box, covered with iceberg, polar bear cubs, and a lady in her nightgown. Info on the box is provided in English, French, and Spanish!
Half as large as the vibrators of the 'teens and '20s, this well-designed little item was easy to find in the 1930s and '40s, and is commonly found made of brightly-colored aluminum.
By the late '30s to early '40s, vibrators were increasingly marketed to assist in weight loss. This use of vibration may not work particularly well, though vibration plate machines -- an update of this mid-century design -- can be found in some gyms today.
Rolling Pin Heat Massager (1932)
Grandmother used a rolling pin for baking, and perhaps for much more! Deco-designed with Bakelite handles and a heating function in addition to vibration.
Spot Reducer (1950s)
More weight loss claims, featuring a vibrating rubber suction cup and an easy-to-use hand strap.
Stim-u-Lax (early 1960s)
Originally designed in the 1930s and little-changed throughout the middle of the 20th century, this Swedish massager was often encountered at the barbershop, where its specialty was scalp massage after a haircut.
Hitachi (late 1960s-early 1970s)
Currently the most popular electric vibrator, the Hitachi Magic Wand began its life decades ago with a sleek modern look.