Not all baristas are condescending and not all will grimace when you order a caramel macchiato, but coffee snobbery is a real thing. Very real.
But we're not going to spend too much time proving that, because artisanal coffee outfits have already done it for us. The internet is full of self-aggrandizing, over-the-top, sometimes ridiculous coffee-centric videos that, while beautifully shot, can be incredibly silly.
Where to begin? Drinking a well-prepared cup of joe will not bring you closer to the deity of your choice. You will not hear music playing when you take a sip. Making something entirely by hand does not inherently make it better. These videos, however, seem to suggest otherwise.
Are these coffee culture videos insufferably snobbish? You be the judge.
Don't get us wrong, coffee is a lovely morning pick-me-up -- but it's not like a great cup will help you reach Nirvana. Is the epic horn accompaniment necessary? It's a coffee shop, not a cathedral. "I'm not exaggerating in the least bit," says a barista from Stumptown Coffee in this video. Why, yes. We think you are.
Coffee shops are great meeting places. They're great for buying coffee. They're also great if you're out and need a bathroom in a fix. But are they "magical places?" These people think so. Unless the baristas are Hogwarts grads and make coffee by chanting, "Coffeebrewius!," we think not.
Hey, look! A whole movie devoted to coffee. Necessary? We can't say -- we haven't actually seen the movie. We were too busy rolling our eyes. Also, we take issue with the line, "There's so much about coffee we don't understand." That's what they want us to think.
What's with the heavy-handed classical accompaniment in the intro -- is it some tacit comparison to musical greatness? Even the most accomplished barista can't do with coffee what Mozart or Beethoven did with music.
Hats off to Funny or Die for this hilarious take-down of coffee culture's snobby side. We're in stitches. It's almost too accurate.