POLITICS

HUFFPOST HILL - Immigrants' Thirst For Freedom Quenched By Gang Of Eight, 64oz Sodas

03/11/2013 05:59 pm ET | Updated May 11, 2013

A group of senators wants undocumented immigrants to prove prove they're ready to be treated like citizens by... not being treated like citizens. Judge Milton Tingling, who we're pretty sure was one of the kids ejected from WIlly Wonka's factory, struck down Mike Bloomberg's sugary drinks ban. And now that Scott Brown has taken a lobbying job, he'll be meeting with King & Spalding instead of kings & queens. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Monday, March 11th, 2013:

IMMIGRATION GANG OF EIGHT REACHES CITIZENSHIP AGREEMENT - What could be more American than being both neglected AND exploited by your government? Welcome to the team! LA Times: "Eight senators who have spent weeks trying to write a bipartisan bill to overhaul immigration laws have privately agreed on the most contentious part of the draft -- how to offer legal status to the nation's 11 million illegal immigrants. According to aides familiar with the closed-door negotiations, the bill would require illegal immigrants to register with Homeland Security Department authorities, file federal income taxes for their time in America and pay a still-to-be-determined fine. They also must have a clean law enforcement record. Once granted probationary legal status, immigrants would be allowed to work but would be barred from receiving federal public benefits, including food stamps, family cash assistance, Medicaid and unemployment insurance. The group's current draft is largely in line with President Obama's call to set a pathway to earned citizenship as part of a broader immigration reform package, as well as with recent efforts by prominent Republican lawmakers to resolve an issue that hurt GOP candidates in November's election." [LA Times]

BIG BODEGA WINS AGAIN: JUDGE INVALIDATES NYC SODA BAN - So that pet shop we constructed that rotates into a 64 oz Mountain Dew speakeasy when someone pulls a lever behind the counter is... not necessary? Cool! WSJ: "A state judge on Monday stopped Mayor Michael Bloomberg's administration from banning the sale of large sugary drinks at New York City restaurants and other venues, a major defeat for a mayor who has made public-health initiatives a cornerstone of his tenure. The city is 'enjoined and permanently restrained from implementing or enforcing the new regulations,' wrote New York Supreme Court Judge Milton Tingling [Editor's note: Judge Milton Tingling!!!], blocking the rules one day before they would have taken effect. In halting the drink rules, Judge Tingling noted that the incoming sugary drink regulations were 'fraught with arbitrary and capricious consequences' that would be difficult to enforce with consistency 'even within a particular city block, much less the city as a whole.'" [WSJ]

Read the full ruling here.

From the Department of Southern Efficiency, Northern Charm: @AdamTuss: Just in: Metro says its clocks were NOT adjusted to daylight saving time this am, meaning peak fares were charged during off peak 930-1030am

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - People like to think that in America, a poor person has a good chance of becoming rich and a rich person has a good chance of dying penniless. Mainly, though, poor people stay poor and rich people stay rich. Economists at the San Francisco Fed crunched some numbers: "The data show that when the population is divided in fifths, the middle three groups of the income distribution are fairly mobile. For this middle group, where one is born in the distribution does not determine where one will end up. But for those born in the bottom or the top fifth, mobility is much more constricted, suggesting that birth circumstances play more of a role in lifetime outcomes." [FRBSF.org]

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BUDGET MIGHT BE A NIGHTMARE FOR SENATE DEMS - A friendly reminder that the GOP is not the only party with internal divisions. The Hill: "Senate Democrats say they will soon pass their first budget in four years, but it is proving a test. Disputes over tax cuts, spending reductions and entitlement reform all present challenges to Budget Committee Chairwoman Patty Murray (D-Wash.) and Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.). The Democrats' narrow 12-10 majority on the panel means one defection would mean failure, if Republicans stick together as expected... Leaders also must steel their members against dozens of poison pill amendments the GOP is preparing to slip into the budget mix... [Bernie] Sanders, who caucuses with Democrats, adamantly resists any entitlement benefit cuts and is pushing for big tax increases in the bill. Yet even as Murray deals with him, she must also win over centrist Democrats such as Sen. Mark Warner (D-Va.)... [Ron] Wyden presents another problem for Murray: whether to include detailed tax instructions in the bill that would expedite tax reform through a process called reconciliation, which precludes a filibuster...Even if Murray gets her bill through committee, it will face more challenges on the Senate floor. A bill that raises taxes but does not cut deeply enough into spending could run into opposition from conservative Democrats, especially those facing reelection in 2014." [The Hill]

Fairweather fan, Senate edition: "Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) touted his support for Sen. Rand Paul's (R-Ky.) filibuster last week of John Brennan's nomination for CIA director in a new campaign email on Monday... 'Rand stood in their way last week and I was thrilled to join him. But I stand in their way all too often for their tastes. So in addition to standing with Rand, I hope you'll help Team Mitch today,' McConnell [says] in the fundraising email. President Obama and his congressional allies are 'out' for Paul, McConnell added." [The Hill]

SCOTT BROWN BECOMES FINANCIAL SERVICES LOBBYIST (BASICALLY) - Or, "Scott Brown Becomes That Thing He Spent His Last Campaign Mildly Pretending He Wasn't." Luke Johnson: "Major law firm Nixon Peabody announced that former Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) has joined the firm's Boston office Monday. The firm said Brown 'will focus his practice on business and governmental affairs as they relate to the financial services industry as well as on commercial real estate matters.' As a senator, Brown had the backing of the financial services industry, which contributed heavily to his unsuccessful bid for reelection last year. In 2010, he voted for the Dodd-Frank legislation only after winning concessions for some of Massachusetts' biggest financial firms, State Street and Fidelity Investments. Under federal ethics laws, Brown is barred from lobbying for two years following his departure from the Senate. He may, however, lead lobbying teams in a managerial role and direct his firm's lobbyists on how best to target Congress or the executive branch to benefit their clients." [HuffPost]

@jbendery: This woman in front of the WH wins the day: she KNITTED a pie chart of the US budget onto an umbrella. pic.twitter.com/87R6J0G4Lo

GUY WHO AL GORE THOUGHT COULD BE PRESIDENT JOINS AEI - Sure, the conservative think tank shares almost none of Joe Liberman's views on domestic issues but WHO CARES? It's Joe Lieberman. #YOLO. Politico: "Former Sen. Joe Lieberman is joining the conservative think tank American Enterprise Institute, the organization announced Monday. Lieberman -- Al Gore's vice presidential running mate in 2000 and a Democratic presidential candidate in 2004 -- will co-chair AEI's American Internationalism Project, an effort to rebuild a bipartisan consensus about big foreign policy questions...Lieberman will be joined in the effort by former Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.), who also retired from the Senate in January." [Politico]

Godspeed, Joe. Way to not pull a Scott Brown.

@Reince: While RNC is in Brooklyn, freedom returns to NYC! RT @CNBC: BREAKING: Judge invalidates New York City's large soda ban

PAT CHRISTIE'S HURRICANE SANDY CHARITY UNDER SCRUTINY - Via Blue Jersey, the wife of Governor Chris Christie is engaging in the same behavior that prompted her huband to go all category 5 on Congress a few months back. AP/Asbury Park Press: "The Sandy relief fund chaired by New Jersey first lady Mary Pat Christie has raised more than $32 million so far. But four months after the superstorm, none of that aid has reached storm victims yet. In an interview, Mary Pat Christie pointed to the logistical challenge of starting a charity from scratch, the relief fund's focus on addressing long-term recovery needs, instead of short-term relief, and her own 'methodical' approach to putting the proper resources and safeguards in place, as reasons for the delay. It was never the intent for the Hurricane Sandy New Jersey Relief Fund to quickly provide monetary aid directly to storm victims, she noted. Instead, the plan was to lend support to reputable nonprofit groups that will be providing victims with financial assistance and other services in the months and years to come. The relief fund plans to distribute $1 million in grants this week, with another $5 million to follow several weeks after that." [AP/Asbury Park Press]

DURBIN RUNNING FOR REELECTION - Assuming he cruises to reelection, he can use the low-pressure campaign to perfect his Chuck Schumer and Harry Reid voodoo dolls (finding frizzy hair for the former and glasses the latter isn't easy). Sun Times: "Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) will run for another term in 2014, I'm told, and is ramping up for a campaign with five fund-raisers here in the next two weeks. Durbin is in absolutely no rush to make any official announcement and his core supporters have understood for some time that he will seek re-election, I'm told. Durbin has held more than 20 fund-raisers since November and as of Dec. 31 had $2,590,707 cash-on-hand in his campaign fund." [Sun Times]

DEAN HELLER: YOU AIN'T NO MAN 'LESS YOU GOT LAND - If you spot Nevada's junior senator sitting on a rocking chair, dressed in overalls and a floppy hat, spitting tobacco into a bronze urn and warning passers by to "best go back from where you came" while he pats a shotgun that's resting in his lap, here's why, courtesy of Roll Call: "Staffers for Sen. Dean Heller have been bullying other senators' aides to protect the Nevada Republican's space in the Russell Senate Office Building, CQ Roll Call has learned. As part of the biennial Senate office lottery, junior members are obligated to show their office suites to more senior members, who then have 24 hours to decide whether to claim that space as their own. Heller's office suite -- which he inherited after the scandal-fueled resignation of Sen.John Ensign, R-Nev. -- may be particularly attractive to other senators because its floor plan includes a larger-than-average member office. Though special courtesies are usually extended to aides and members visiting offices, Heller staffers repeatedly tried to keep them from seeing the spacious member office, sources reported, saying meetings were ongoing and could not be interrupted." [Roll Call]

REINCE PRIEBUS GOES TO BROOKLYN - He was last seen in the borough after being cast, but later replaced, as the guy who scuffed up Buggin' Out's Air Jordans in "Do The Right Thing." CNN: "Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus heads to New York City for what the RNC touts as 'an African-American engagement and listening session with African American business, political and governmental leaders.' The RNC says Monday's session, being held at the Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn, is the last of their listening sessions for their 'Growth and Opportunity Project,' which will be released next Monday, March 18. That project is a multi-tiered internal examination of the GOP and of how the party performed in last year's elections. The RNC ordered the review after the party failed to win back the White House or the Senate last November. While the GOP did lose eight seats to the Democrats in the House of Representatives, the party did keep control of the chamber." [CNN]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Dog befriends the lion cub that will one day eat him.

A VERY BO OBAMA EASTER - HuffPost DC: "You can now order a White House Easter Egg Roll commemorative egg. The 2013 eggs can be purchased individually or in a special 5-pack set with a special, extra cute Bo egg." [HuffPost]

POP-TART GUNS: THE DEBATE CONTINUES - HuffPost DC: "About a week ago, 7-year-old Josh Welch was suspended from his Maryland school for two days after biting a Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun. A Maryland lawmaker has now introduced a bill to stop students who chew Pop-Tarts into weapon-like shapes -- or who merely hold their fingers into the shape of a gun -- from being suspended again." [HuffPost]

COMFORT FOOD

- "Clumsy Penguin Compilation" is quite possibly the most agreeable thing on the internet... unless you're a penguin with poor motor skills. [http://bit.ly/WhYb0l]

- Adorable grandmother dances her way down stairs, curses. [http://bit.ly/YWdA31]

- "The Corner," David Chase's 2000 miniseries that eventually led to "The Wire" is available in its entirety online. [http://bit.ly/ZzymKo]

- The least watched shows on television -- somehow didn't make the cut. [http://bit.ly/WhgH9f]

- "Where's Waldo?" finds its place in the 21st Century: in .gif form. [http://bit.ly/YnjlXM]

- Sure, they keep your feet cool, but at what cost? Watch this kitten get stuck in a flip flop. [http://bit.ly/Y57lhj]

- A giant cache of music featured at this year's SXSW festival is available for download. [http://bit.ly/10wlVS4]

TWITTERAMA

@ObsoleteDogma: Just a guy with a truck, lobbying for Wall Street.

@jmartpolitico: Unless Scott Brown soon joins a board dedicated to fisherman in Gloucester or some such his CV isn't screaming "gov platform"

@BenjySarlin: So Elizabeth Warren defeated someone who immediately became a bank lobbyist, what an election

ON TAP

TOMORROW

5:30 pm: Pat Roberts, chairman of the Congressional Oh Right, Him Caucus, kicks off his 2014 reelection bid at NRSC headquarters. [NRSC, 425 2nd Street NE]

6:00 pm: The DSCC drinks to Scott Brown's retirement from elected office hosts its annual spring reception. DSCC Chair Michael Bennet and Harry Reid will be in attendance. [National Museum of Women in the Arts, 1250 New York Avenue NW]

6:00 pm: John Barrasso lives up to the name of his "Common Values PAC" the only way one can: with a $1,000-a-head "Italian Wine Reception" at a tony Washington restaurant. [Fiola Ristoranta, 601 Pennsylvania Ave. NW]

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