"This chat is not usable." Well said, Hoda Kotb!

Seriously, we can't even with this segment from Friday's "Today," in which Hoda and Kathie Lee Gifford had a nine (NINE) minute discussion about their ... grooming habits "down there," as they primly put it. Nine minutes! It was uproarious and terrifying and riveting and insane all at the same time. We learned about 500 percent more than we wanted to about each host's personal regimen, and then there was Kathie Lee making pilot noises for three minutes when she learned what Hoda does, and then there was her singing an Irish ditty that she wrote herself, and then there was the two women trying to ask EVERYONE ON THE SHOW what they each did, and then there was an argument about the meaning of "50 percent," and then there was the dawning realization about what, exactly, they had done, and then also Kathie Lee made this face:

kathie lee hoda

And we just could NOT. DEAL. And we feel like we've been tossed into an insane vortex and everything in the world has changed.

We can't tell if Kathie Lee and Hoda were just wasted or high or wasted and high or just INSANELY happy because it feels like it's the first sunny day in Manhattan in months (MONTHS). But when we think about it, such a conversation would be a crazy dramatic response to sunshine, so that only leaves the other three options.

We are kind of scarred.

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