This seems to periodically find its way to the top of Reddit, but we couldn't resist posting despite it not being exactly new.

Have a safe, facehugger-free Easter.

Via Reddit

Also on HuffPost:

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  • My Cleaning Trolley

    This "Girls Only" toy is sure to inspire your daughter to reach for the sky...while dusting the high shelves.

  • Lil' Monkey

    So much for post-racial America.

  • Playmobil Security Check Point

    Encourage your child's imagination to run wild as their Playmobil figures wait in line...walk through the metal detector...are forced to throw out their shampoo. (PS -- It's almost 60 bucks)

  • Pole Dance Doll

    Please don't give your child this toy. Please.

  • Fish Preparation Toy

    When I was three, all I wanted was to behead, de-bone and fillet a salmon. Didn't you?

  • "Sulky" Rickshaw

    This $300 "toy" is just a rickshaw with all the pointy edges rounded off. Also, it holds up to 176 lbs! If your kid weighs that much maybe they should be walking.

  • Gasoline-Powered Audi Two Seater Car For Kids

    Get your little yuppie on his way with this gas-powered accident-waiting-to-happen. For just under $14,000 you can watch your kid tear ass around the cul-de-sac at a maximum 13 MPH, but keep it off the road because it's about as street legal as a lawn mower.

  • Lightning Reaction Extreme

    The idea of this game is to not be the slowest person to buzz in or you get shocked. Or, try the "Extreme" version where only the fastest player is safe and everyone else gets shocked. The point is: Electrocution = Fun.

  • Pro Thumb Wrestling Ring

    Way to take a game that is ages old and barely fun and add unnecessary plastic.

  • Gelli Baff

    Baff = bath. Gelli = goopy crap. Gelli Baff = Inedible Jello wrestling practice for kids.

  • Spiderman "Adventure Hero" Action Figures

    We're confused. We thought Spiderman was already an "Adventure Hero" and now he's dressing up in various outfits like a Barbie would? He also apparently loves <a href="http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/stupid-toys2/spidey4.jpg">soccer and short shorts</a>. (From <a href="http://www.i-mockery.com/">i-mockery.com</a>

  • Tongue Kissing Pops

    We thought the first thing Mike Mozart found (a pair of lips with a tongue-shaped lollipop that comes out) was inappropriate enough, and then he finds the same sort of thing but with various animal heads! Sure, let your kids try getting to second base, and then move on to bestiality. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rz4JfOun6o&feature=player_embedded" target="_hplink">Watch the video review here</a>)

  • Tarzan

    There's nothing wrong with self love, but we're pretty sure kids don't need to learn about it from their action figures. (<a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xay6qi_tarzan-fail_fun#from=embed" target="_hplink">Watch a disturbing demonstration here</a>).

  • Breastfeeding Doll

    A girl wears a special halter top with flowers instead of nipples that cause the baby to make sucking sounds and move its mouth. The tagline for the toy reads, "Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby." We think you should.

  • Don't Wake Hulk

    http://toys.about.com/od/games/ss/hulkgames_2.htm

  • Video Girl Barbie

    The premise of "Video Girl Barbie" is simple: take a toy targeted for young girls and install (between the doll's breasts) a video camera capable of recording about 30 minutes of video. What better way to foster you daughter's interest in filmmaking than with a doll that looks like the Terminator? (Check out the product's <a href="http://www.barbie.com/videogirl/" target="_hplink">official site</a> to see the cyborg up close.) But before your kid gets excited about filming in breast-view, heed this warning from the FBI: In the wrong hands- specifically pedophile hands- Video Barbie can be a "possible child pornography production method." For a full review of the product, check out <a href="http://techcrunch.com/2010/07/22/barbie-video-girl-woah/" target="_hplink">TechCrunch</a>.

  • McDonald's Drive-Thru Playset

    A cross-over from "Fast Food Fails:" You have to give them credit for trying to secure their workforce as early as possible. (<a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/eyfxd/worried_about_your_kids_future_employment/" target="_hplink">via Reddit</a>)

  • Baby Wee Wee

    Sigmund Freud's theories on the link between defecation and the child psyche were not received warmly back in the day, but the guy may have had a good point. Something about fecal matter must resonate strongly with childhood fantasy, because more than one popular toy is all about taking care of nature's business. Unfortunately, it seems "Baby Wee" leaves little to the imagination. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=U-_ipSXgujk" target="_hplink">Watch the commercial for the full diaper change</a>).

  • MATTEL Sing-A-Ma-Jigs

    From that single pair of loafers in aisle 10 to plastic Easter basket grass from last year, pharmacies know how to deliver the goods when it comes to selling disparate collections of strange stuff. Case in point: this disturbing singing thing. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=s4nFTyyTX14" target="_hplink">See it in action here</a>).

  • "Little Star Emily" Singing Doll

    This is hands down the creepiest toy ever. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tdhkY60lY0k" target="_hplink">Just watch</a>.

  • Super Soaker "Oozinator"

    Super Soakers' more extreme line of squirt guns were always intended for older children, and the "Oozinator" is no exception. Luckily, these boys appear just the right age to discover this addictive toy for the first time start using it a couple times a day (at least). <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YdAIt4MgnHc" target="_hplink">Check out the full commercial here.</a>

  • Mr. Tickle

    Sure you don't want just a <em>little</em> tickle?

  • Play-Doh Dr. Drill n' Fill

    Dr. Drill n' Fill: The revolutionary new toy that promotes children's healthy and active lifestyle by teaching them to associate fun with gouging out cavities. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UeXOZIktk-I" target="_hplink">Watch the commercial here</a>)

  • Barbie and Her Dog Tanner

    "Be who you wanna be," begins the commercial for the 'Barbie and her dog Tanner' play set. Even if that means using your childhood imagination and all its accessories to create fantastical worlds beset by pooper-scoopers and tic-tac shaped dog droppings. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ke2Jyf6rXQ8" target="_hplink">Watch the commercial here</a>)

  • Elmo Knows Your Name

    Elmo has a little computer in his brain so he can learn your child's name and other phrases. However, don't change the batteries or Elmo starts threatening to kill you.

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