HUFFPOST HILL - War Powers Resolution No Match For President's Satanic Armies

04/02/2013 06:04 pm ET | Updated Jun 02, 2013

Two Big Apple politicians were charged with trying to buy the mayoralty, something only Mike Bloomberg can do. The Associated Press rankled conservatives by axing "illegal immigrant" from its stylebook, though our decision to replace it with "Cesar Chavez Google Doodle" won't be popular, either. And roughly 20 percent of Mitt Romney supporters think President Obama is the anti-Christ. The president is going to have a hard time mustering 60 votes in the Senate to rain unending hellfire down on the armies of our Lord. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013:

RAND PAUL-BACKED GROUP TARGETING REPUBLICANS - Has anyone looked into the possibility that Rand Paul's Senate career is just one big ploy by Jim Bunning to annoy his former colleagues? Politico: "Sen. Rand Paul, the tea party favorite and possible 2016 presidential candidate, is raising money for a conservative gun-rights group that's targeting fellow Republicans, including House Majority Leader Eric Cantor. And when one congressman complained, the message from Paul's camp was: Too bad. The Kentucky Republican has lent his name to fundraising pitches for the National Association for Gun Rights, a group that says the National Rifle Association is too willing to compromise on gun rights [Editor's note: Wow]. The group has blitzed the districts of Virginia Republicans Cantor and Rep. Scott Rigell with $50,000 worth of TV and radio ads accusing them of helping President Barack Obama pass gun control legislation." [Politico]

@TIMEPolitics: Obama, Clinton, both Bushes, and Carter to reunite April 25 for Bush 43 building opening | ti.me/104JqPe

GLOCK FOR TEACHER - As video games teach us, Good Guys with Guns can kill the Bad Guys. Christina Wilkie: "Former Rep. Asa Hutchinson (R-Ark.) on Tuesday released a 225-page report on school safety funded by the National Rifle Association. The report, commissioned in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, recommended properly trained armed employees to provide 'an important layer of security in schools.' The report was prepared by a 12-person task force, called the School Shield Program, led by Hutchinson. At Tuesday's press conference, he stated that its findings were independent of the nation's largest gun lobby. 'Teachers should teach, but if there is personnel that has interest and is willing to go through 40 to 60 hours of [firearms] training, then schools should be willing to [arm them],' Hutchinson said. He added that the report found that 'local school authorities are in the best position' to determine their own school security measures, 'specifically whether an armed security guard is necessary and supported by the education and citizen community.'" [HuffPost]

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - In our ongoing series PASTED: The Email of the Jobless, today's correspondent writes of several recent unemployment spells. "I am now sixty-one and working long hard hours as a freelance book editor. I barely make enough to survive, but I can almost pay my bills. Let's just hope I don't need medical attention; I have no insurance. I could barely scrape up enough for car insurance this last time. All my life, I heard these were supposed to be my golden years. Fuck that shit. I've never been so scared, and I see it only getting worse. And now the bought-and-paid-for politicians in Washington want to screw with my Social Security and Medicare." Yes, they do. [Hang in there!]

The 40-hour week -- who needs it?

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MARK KIRK COMES OUT FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY, SECOND GOP SENATOR TO DO SO - That anguished cry you just heard echoing down your street came from Alexi Giannoulias, shaking his fist at the sky and forswearing God. Sabrina Siddiqui: "Sen. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) announced his support for same-sex marriage Tuesday, becoming the second Republican senator to do so after his colleague Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) embraced marriage equality last month. 'When I climbed the Capitol steps in January, I promised myself that I would return to the Senate with an open mind and greater respect for others,' Kirk said in a statement posted to his blog. 'Same-sex couples should have the right to civil marriage,' he continued. 'Our time on this earth is limited, I know that better than most. Life comes down to who you love and who loves you back -- government has no place in the middle.'.. As a House member, Kirk voted against the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell two times. He also voted against it while in the Senate as a committee member, but then backed repeal in the final Senate vote." [HuffPost]

Karen Finney is getting a weekend show on MSNBC. With Ed Schultz's show on 5-7 and her's 4-5, the MSNBC drivers' football season is flat out ruined.

TOM CARPER COMES OUT FOR GAY MARRIAGE, REMINDS EVERYONE ABOUT TOM CARPER - Tom Carper -- senator, human being who exists -- also jumped on board the equality bandwagon. "As our society has changed and evolved, so too has the public's opinion on gay marriage - and so has mine," Carper said on his Facebook page. "I pray every day for God to grant me the wisdom to do what is right. Through my prayers and conversations with my family and countless friends and Delawareans, I've been reminded of the power of one of my core values: the Golden Rule. It calls on us to treat others as we want to be treated. That means, to me, that all Americans ultimately should be free to marry the people they love and intend to share their lives with, regardless of their sexual orientation, and that's why today, after a great deal of soul searching, I'm endorsing marriage equality." [HuffPost's Sam Stein]

@jbendery: On a whim, I reached out to Olympia Snowe to see where she stands on gay marriage these days. She declined to talk. Sigh.

OBAMA CAMPAIGNERS TARGET PROGRESSIVE DEM FROM BIG BIZ, OF COURSE - Jeremy Bird, whose name probably populates your inbox as heavily as your boss', is managing the campaign of former Obama administration official Ro Khanna, who's planning to primary progressive Democrat Mike Honda. Why Honda? Because Khanna had been eyeing Pete Stark's seat forever, but some other young business friendly Democrat, now a congressman, beat him to it. Khanna wrote a book that says this: "Bob's punch line came at the end of our lunch. 'Do you know that our guys aren't even on your department's advisory committees that are shaping our national economic policy?' I was shocked. Do we not want Bob Baugh and Jeff Immelt exchanging ideas? One of the major reasons that there has been gridlock in Washington is that labor and business aren't at the same table. If we can't bring business and labor together on Department of Commerce committees, what hope is there for the type of Camp David summit between business and labor to discuss the 'economic rebirth for the 21st century' that Thomas Friedman envisions?" And this: "Our service industry is made up of financial wizards, software designers, and movie directors who are technologically savvy and, arguably, some of the most creative minds in the world." Hope! Change!

Mary Landrieu has a new challenger, meaning she might be the first sitting senator to devolve on gay marriage: "Louisiana Rep. Bill Cassidy will challenge Democratic Sen. Mary L. Landrieu in what's likely to be one of the most competitive races in 2014, CQ Roll Call has confirmed. The AP reported on Tuesday that Cassidy will officially announce his candidacy in a video to be released on Wednesday. Cassidy has long been mentioned as a top potential contender to Landrieu, who is seeking a fourth term in a state President Barack Obama lost by 18 points in November. Cassidy had more than $2 million in the bank by the end of 2012, and his campaign announced on Monday that he raised $500,000 in the first quarter." [Roll Call]

AMERICA IS CRAZY, YO - PPP Polling, the BuzzFeed of public opinion research, has a new survey out gauging Americans' attitudes toward a number of conspiracy theories. PPP: "37% of voters believe global warming is a hoax, 51% do not. Republicans say global warming is a hoax by a 58-25 margin, Democrats disagree 11-77, and Independents are more split at 41-51. 61% of Romney voters believe global warming is a hoax... 28% of voters believe secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world through an authoritarian world government, or New World Order. A plurality of Romney voters (38%) believe in the New World Order compared to 35% who don't... 13% of voters think Barack Obama is the anti-Christ, including 22% of Romney voters...9% of voters think the government adds fluoride to our water supply for sinister reasons (not just dental health)...4% of voters say they believe 'lizard people' control our societies by gaining political power...15% of voters say the governemnt or the media adds mind-controlling technology to TV broadcast signals (the so-called Tinfoil Hat crowd)" [PPP]

In a win for immigration activists, the Associated Press has dropped "illegal immigrant" from its stylebook. "The Stylebook no longer sanctions the term 'illegal immigrant' or the use of 'illegal' to describe a person," the AP's Kathleen Carroll wrote in a statement. "Instead, it tells users that 'illegal' should describe only an action, such as living in or immigrating to a country illegally." Henceforth, we will only use a series of emojis to describe such individuals, specifically [person][American flag][squiggly equals sign][scales of justice]. Debate still rages in the HuffPost newsroom about whether [squiggly equals sign] should be replaced with [cartoon bubble question mark]. We welcome your comments. [AP]

Actually, we use "undocumented immigrant," which might be a little vague, but what isn't? Right, Wittgenstein?

NYC POLITICIANS INDICTED ON CHARGES OF ELECTION RIGGING - The accused are charged with reaching across the aisle. Who says bipartisanship is dead? Ryan Reilly and John Celock: "The FBI Tuesday morning arrested two high-profile Queens politicians, State Sen. Malcolm Smith (D) and City Councilman Daniel Halloran (R), and four other officials, charging them with trying to rig the New York City mayoral race. The officials were allegedly involved in a plan to get Smith on the mayoral ballot as a Republican. The FBI arrested them after an undercover sting operation on charges of bribery, extortion, and wire and mail fraud. Also charged were Bronx County Republican Party Chairman Joseph Savino, Queens County Republican Party Vice Chairman Vincent Tabone, Spring Valley Mayor Noramie Jasmin and Spring Valley Deputy Mayor Joseph Desmaret...In order to run in the Republican mayoral primary, Smith would have needed to receive permission from GOP leaders in three of the five counties that make up New York City. Halloran allegedly assisted Smith in working to secure the support of Queens Republican leaders. He 'essentially quarterbacked' Smith's campaign 'by finding party chairmen who were wide open to receiving bribes,' [Manhattan US Attorney Peet] Bharara said." [HuffPost]

JOE MANCHIN: APPALACHIA'S CHUCK SCHUMER - West Virginia's new senator has discovered his colleague from New York's patented Four Loko media strategy. The Hill: "Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.), who in the past had said he was 'repulsed' by the MTV show 'Buckwild,' is speaking out about the death of one of the reality program's stars. Shain Gandee, a prominent cast member in the hit series that followed the lives of the young residents of a West Virginia town, was found dead along with two others inside a vehicle along a muddy Kentucky road on Monday...Manchin said in an email to ITK, 'Gayle, my family and I join all West Virginians in praying for the Gandee family as they go through this difficult time.'" [The Hill]

Never change, Louie Gohmert! "Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) linked gun control to gay marriage on a conference call that took place in February -- and was reported by Right Wing Watch on Tuesday. Speaking on gun magazine limits, Gohmert said, 'And I pointed out, well, once you make it 10, then why would you draw the line at 10? What's wrong with nine? Or 11? And the problem is once you draw that limit -- it's kind of like marriage when you say it's not a man and a woman anymore, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a love for an animal?'" MUST CREDIT RICK SANTORUM!!! [HuffPost's Luke Johnson]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Sea lion sways to the pulsating rhythm of the Backstreet Boys.

NO FAMOUS COUNTENANCE FOR YOU! - OK, so it's not Bruce Springsteen asking Ronald Reagan to stop using "Born in the U.S.A." at campaign rallies, but the Soup Nazi telling a gun maker to stop using his likeness is pretty awesome. New York Post: "Soup Nazi actor Larry Thomas is all steamed up after gun manufacturer Serbu Firearms used his image on a T-shirt and Facebook campaign against New York State's gun laws. The 'Seinfeld' star was horrified to see his image -- along with the phrase 'No Serbu for You!' -- being used to help promote Tampa-based Serbu's campaign against the ban on the sale of defined assault rifles in New York... Serbu recently claimed online that it refused to sell its rifles to the NYPD, because 'We have a policy of selling to state law-enforcement agencies only what is allowed to be sold to private citizens in that state.'... [Thomas] tells us, 'I own the rights to my image as the Soup Nazi. Serbu did not ask my permission, and Facebook won't take the image down. Not only did they do this without my authorization, but also I am an advocate of gun control.'" [NY Post]


- Posters presenting the "Game of Thrones" cast in other famous TV shows. [http://bit.ly/XVmwqw]

- How to scramble an egg inside the shell. [http://grb.st/XmzqTB]

- "Anne Hat-a-Day" imagines the "Les Miserables" actress in a variety of peculiar chappeaus. [http://bit.ly/14CBCZ2]

- "Good for Matt Martin" -- Hockey announcer observing the aforementioned Martin knock out a guy and then call for a trainer. How sweet. [http://bit.ly/10qXeCq]

- Hi-res photos of space shuttle cockpits. You'll have to provide the "pew!" "pew!" noises. [http://bit.ly/10dF1t1]

- Ten of history's most celebrated authors on how best to imbibe. [http://bit.ly/Z3JuSq]

- Geese cross the road in a painstakingly slow fashion. Yet one more reason not to drive. [http://bit.ly/10v6sNS]

- How sperm became one of this country's biggest exports. You're welcome, world. [http://bit.ly/13OrcGB]


@dorseyshaw: really tried to watch CNN's "The Point" but had to tune out when Deutsch said Kevin Ware's injury might help him become a banker someday.

@aedwardslevy: Most honest political tweet of all time RT @KellyAyotte: $

@stefanjbecket: AP Drops Illegal Immigrant, Leaving Him With Minor Injuries

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