What really drives a man wild? When relationship therapist Rachel Sussman joined me on Mondays with Marlo this week, she outlined three of the biggest turn-ons for men. Here is what she told me:
- Men love a woman with confidence.
- Men love women who listen.
- Men really like women who take care of themselves -- who respect their looks and themselves.
Click here for the full interview.
Take control of your love life with Rachel's sex and relationship tips:
Being sexual helps you feel more connected to your partner. Sex is a nonverbal experience that helps you communicate in an entirely different way. And it's fun! Make a commitment to sustain your sexual connection through good times and, especially, the more challenging ones. Not to mention, sex is great for stress relief.
Long walks on the beach are much more than a cliché -- they truly serve a purpose. Commit time each week to engage in conversation or spend some quiet time together. Maintaining your connection is critical to sustaining a healthy, happy relationship.
If sex is in the calendar tonight (or if you'd like it to be) prepare yourself earlier in the day. Allow yourself to enjoy a "transitional experience." Send your partner a sexy text or a suggestive photo. Take a warm bath and let the stressors of the day slide off. Light some candles, play some relaxing music and set the mood.
Regularly discuss what sex means to each of you. Talk about fantasies and turn-ons. If you lead a busy life (and who doesn't?), it's perfectly okay to put sex dates on the calendar. Don't worry about scheduled sex being too formulaic -- looking forward to sex is a very good thing.
Try to understand your partner's thoughts and feelings, and show empathy. Not sure what's going on? Ask. Accept your partner and try not to judge them. Remember, you got into your relationship because you liked who your partner was. Don’t try to change him or her.
Romantic partners tend to be very critical of each other, and too many years of criticism with the absence of praise can take a huge toll on a love bond. Don't let this happen to your marriage. Be the president of your partner's fan club, and be sure to remind them how terrific they are on a regular basis.
When the chips are down, you want to think of your partner as someone who brings joy into your life. Laughter is such a great elixir and it really helps keep couples together.
If your partner approaches you with something that is bothering them, listen and don't be defensive. Constructive criticism helps us grow as individuals and can actually strengthen a couple.
Little acts of kindness go a long way! Show your partner respect. Be sure to say “please” and “thank you.” When you've made a mistake, say you’re sorry. It's simple, but it goes a long way.
Defensiveness is always a conversation stopper. Random criticism is dangerous to your partner's self-worth and destructive to a relationship. If you have an issue, think about how you want to present it first.
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