Several years ago, HuffPost blogger Melissa Sher became aware of a void in the English language. It didn't have enough words. "I needed a word to describe driving around with a baby trying to get him to nap. And I needed more words to describe feeling profoundly disappointed when my son woke after only a few minutes because my stupid cell phone rang," Sher says.
And so, the writer and mom of three took matters into her own hands. She started making up words and posting them on her appropriately titled blog -- Mammalingo. As these things tend to go in the momosphere, readers started making up words too, and over time, they created a small dictionary. Here are some of our favorite examples.
Check out the list below, then add the words you'd like to see added to the dictionary in the comments or tweet @HuffPostParents with #mammalingo!
Younger sibling who gets schlepped around like a starlet's pet Chihuahua to fit the schedule of an older sister or brother. A new mother will often keep her newborn at home for her first six to eight weeks of life in order to protect her from germs, the unwanted touches of strangers, and other unseemly things. Not an accoutretot. By the time she is a few days old, she has usually attended a birthday party, spent time in a preschool and been taken to a petting zoo. Who are we kidding? By the time she is a few days old, the newborn IS the petting zoo.
Describing an activity that peaks in enjoyment when a parent says it should be ending. Playing at the park becomes the most fun when it's time to go home for dinner. The best part of the bath is at the end when it's time to get out. Even sitting around the house doing what looks like nothing can be a blast when it's time to run an errand. These endgrossing activities also often coincide with a child's temporary hearing loss and inability to respond to his or her own name.
Becoming suspicious when the house becomes eerily quiet while young children are at home who are not sleeping. Sometimes, you worried for nothing. Other times, you discover that in the time it took you to brush your teeth, the living room walls have been repainted with spaghetti sauce.
Little kids specialize in insmelts. They are generally the first disparaging remarks they will make toward others. Words like "smelly" and "stinky" are often used, as are the phrases "poopiehead," "poopiebutt" and "poopieface." For a child just out of diapers, this is a major diss.
Running commentary given as a mother goes about her day when she has an infant. It's the audio track for the DVD version of your exciting life: "This is where we put our dirty dishes. Let's put away the bowls. Goodbye, Spoon. Goodbye, Fork. And this is the special place where we put the soap. Now we close the great big door. Let's press the button. Listen! Do you hear the water? It's working! It's working!" When you give a momalogue, you're being an awesome mom. When you hear someone else giving a momalogue, that person is kind of annoying.
To stake a claim on a name. This is something generally done by your least favorite friend before she is even pregnant. She will tell you the name she's planning to bestow upon her yet-to-be-conceived daughter (and for some reason, it is usually a girl that she's decided she's having) because she wants to make sure you don't take the name first.
Period immediately following a nap when a groggy baby, toddler or child is sulky, irritable and, sometimes, even vicious. The real reason we don't teach little kids to swear is because, if they knew any profanities, this is when they'd be hurling them at us: "Get me my *$#%! milk! Why are you just *$#%! standing there? Didn't you *$#%! hear me?"
You've heard of "push presents" for mom? This one is for siblings, and it's more of a "don't push" present -- or hit or scratch or bite. The gift is usually given to an older brother or sister under false pretenses. Parents often like to pretend that the gift was selected and purchased by the scrawny newborn who lacks neck control as well as a credit card or any source of income. Another word for it? Bribery plus baby = bribaby. In those first few weeks home, whatever works.
Conversation about... yep. If you're a parent with a child under the age of three, you're talking about poop. And, you're talking about it a lot. Not in your wildest dreams (or worst nightmares) did you ever imagine how much you would be talking about poop. Congratulations. You must be very proud.
Hint a woman unknowingly drops that may alert others to her pregnancy status before she is ready to announce it, such as asking a waiter to leave blue cheese off a salad. The biggest pregcrumb is alcohol avoidance. Actually, the biggest pregcrumb is that your uterus is growing faster than a well-watered Chia pet.
To be an expert in the quirky and irrational wants, needs and desires of your child. It's knowing that your child prefers the blue sippy cup, eats apples only if they're cut in half (but prefers pears whole) and wants you to say goodnight to "Olivia" at bedtime (whoever Olivia is). But your real quirkspertise is evident when you have to explain something in your repertoire to somebody else. "She likes her sandwiches cut into three squares. But, don't try cutting it into thirds -- because that will just make it into three rectangles. You need to cut it into four pieces and then eat one of the pieces yourself so that you are left with three squares. Got it?"
A toddler's attempts to communicate with the outside world by pretending that household objects such as bananas, crayon boxes and pieces of buttered toast are telephones.
Apology you must make to other parents or children for your toddler's nasty behavior. This mea culpa, which you must make on your little one's behalf for shoving, hitting, pushing, hair pulling and -- wince -- biting, almost always includes mention of your daughter's missed nap or poor breakfast. Because no one wants to publicly admit that her little girl-gone-wild is actually rested and well fed.
Evildoer who wakes your sleeping baby by ringing your doorbell or calling your house. Why can't she just email? Text? Or engage in the long, lost art of letter writing? So what if she rang the doorbell at two o'clock in the afternoon. She should have known better -- and waited outside your house, in complete silence, until you noticed her.
Illustrations by Raydene Salinas/HPMG