Happy birthday, Jerry Seinfeld!

Our favorite funnyman turns 59 today, and it's hard to believe that it's been nearly 15 years since his eponymous sitcom ended its hugely successful run in 1998 (though now we have the Modern Seinfeld Twitter account, which imagines of-the-moment storylines for the beloved series).

As a tribute to Seinfeld, who continues to debut new material, here are some of his memorable quotes, both on and offscreen.

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  • "Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic—you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner." --<a href="http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Oprah-Interviews-Jerry-Seinfeld/2" target="_blank">To Oprah</a>

  • "You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death."--<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/15/arts/going-hunting-in-seinfeld-country-just-for-laughs.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm" target="_blank">To the New York Times</a>

  • "My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time. This is a great way to do it."--<a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/04/26/179049781/so-jerry-seinfeld-called-us-to-talk-about-coffee" target="_blank">To NPR, on drinking coffee</a>

  • "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." --"Seinfeld," <a href="http://www.tbs.com/stories/story/0,,31807,00.html" target="_blank">"The Baby Shower" episode</a>

  • "I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me. I held out for a long time. I wanted to keep it going. But now that I have passed through to the other side, I can see how stupid single people act. Of course, when I was single, and I looked at married people, especially the ones with kids, I was horrified. Why would people do that to themselves?"--<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/15/arts/going-hunting-in-seinfeld-country-just-for-laughs.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm" target="_blank">To the New York Times</a>

  • "I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?" --"Seinfeld," "The Chinese Restaurant" episode

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