Why do you need a goatee? Let us not paraphrase Tim & Eric's song explaining the joys of this particular style of facial hair, but instead to direct you to watch it. If you don't take necessary steps to growing a goatee by the end, we recommend reexamining your faculties.

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  • Infinite Beard

    Keeps going and going and going. (Via <a href="http://www.realthinktank.com/2009/12/infinite-beard-really-bad-idea.html" target="_hplink">Real Think Tank</a>)

  • ?

    Good question. (Via <a href="http://www.funnyhairs.com/funny-facial-hair-03.html" target="_hplink">Facial Hairs</a>)

  • Whiskers

    Just don't pull them. (Via <a href="http://list25.com/top-25-craziest-beards-ever/2/" target="_hplink">List 25</a>)

  • The Bat-stache

    By far the most beard-friendly superhero logo. (Via <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sys9k/i_had_a_dreamit_is_now_reality_the_batstache/" target="_hplink">reddit</a>)

  • Z-Beard

    Or an S-beard, from his perspective. (Via <a href="http://list25.com/top-25-craziest-beards-ever/" target="_hplink">List 25</a>)

  • Pac-Man Beard

    Always chasing those pellets. (Via <a href="http://www.oddee.com/item_97821.aspx" target="_hplink">Oddee</a>)

  • The Half-Beard

    Keep at it. The other half will grow in soon. (Via flickr: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/scomedy/6142925081/" target="_hplink">scomedy</a>)

  • Brandenburg Gate Beard

    One of the most famous beard landmarks. (Via <a href="http://roflstuffz.blogspot.com/2009/09/truth-or-fail-beard-trivia.html" target="_hplink">Rofl Stuff</a>)

  • Moustache Beard

    A beard in the form of moustaches. Interesting. (Via <a href="http://www.funnyhairs.com/funny-moustache-03.html" target="_hplink">Funny Hairs</a>)

  • Beard Tattoo

    Must take a long time to shave. (Via <a href="http://thevelvetrocket.com/2009/06/26/awesome-facial-hair-the-champions/" target="_hplink">The Velvet Rocket</a>)

  • Beard Rings

    Larger and larger. (Via <a href="http://list25.com/top-25-craziest-beards-ever/" target="_hplink">List 25</a>)

  • The Monkey Tail

    Dedication. That's what it looks like. (Via <a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2011/04/all-the-rage-ridiculous-monkeytail-beard.php" target="_hplink">Geekologie</a>)

  • Stretched Beard

    A lot of hair gel is necessary for this. (Via <a href="http://oddfunny.com/yet-another-crazy-beard-design/" target="_hplink">OddFunny</a>)