When it comes to weird news, this week was half-cocked.
How else can you explain a week when one of the top stories is about a penis-shaped cactus and another is about a woman who allegedly bit her husband's sex organ during an argument that started when he wanted to leave a rodeo early and she wanted to stay?
Meanwhile, Justin Sisely, the man behind the alleged auction of Catarina Migliorini's virginity, announced to HuffPost writer David Moye that he is working on a series about the project that may feature other virgins who also sell first-access rights to the highest bidder.
Sex was also on the mind of actress Tania Raymonde, who is playing convicted murderer Jodi Arias in an upcoming Lifetime movie. While most actresses might focus on getting inside the mind of the character, Raymonde is focusing in particular on the sordid sex scenes revealed during Arias' courtroom testimony.
When Raymonde is done playing Arias, perhaps she might want to consider playing the fashionista bank robber who stole an undisclosed amount of money from a bank in Stuart, Iowa, wearing a stylish green dress.
Sleaze of another sort came to light in Glasgow, Scotland, where The Shimmy Club nightspot came under fire for installing two-way mirrors in its women's bathrooms, providing quite the show for male patrons in expensive, private booths.
Mother's Day has passed, but an early candidate for "Mother of the Year" appeared this week. She's Latasha Renee Love, 37, and she had her 13-year-old son arrested for allegedly stealing Pop Tarts from their house.
Humans weren't the only weirdos this week.
In Clearwater, Fla., Ty the Tiger got out of a hairy situation when doctors removed a basketball-sized hairball from his stomach and a fisherman in Gloucester, Mass., caught a calico lobster that looks freakily like the Sith Lord Darth Maul from Star Wars.
The most out-of-the-world weird news was the UFO photographed near San Diego by Ellen Henry. The spacecraft looks like a flying saucer out of a 1950s Sci-Fi movie, and Henry insists it wasn't a bug on her lens.
What was the week's weirdest story? Check out the gallery and then memorialize your choice in the poll below.