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Divorce Advice: 5 Ways To Survive A Split

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By Marina Pearson for YourTango.com

The divorce has been finalized, and you've arrived at the acceptance stage. You think to yourself, "It's all done now! But wait... why do I feel so awful and lost?"

The truth is, many women feel this way post-divorce. All of the support they had is now gone, and they're left to figure out what comes next. This can leave them feeling insecure and depressed. Maybe you feel this way? Having been there myself, I have come up with five ways you can transform the feelings of loss into something positive and make the most of your situation for the future.

1. Do all the things you have always dreamed of. There's no time like the present. Why not take your new free time to do all the things you never got around to when you were married? Make a list of things you wish you had done, and go for it. After my divorce, I started singing again and decided to paint. It brought me a lot of joy, which allowed me to seek joy in the small things -- which, after all, make all the difference.

2. Travel. A change is as good as a rest! I find this to be so true. When I felt lost and scared post-divorce, I decided to take myself to Sri Lanka, which did me a world of good. Travel is an opportunity to meet new people, experience new things, and see how others live -- people who have had different experiences, and perhaps don't have as much as we do. It's an amazing way to create the feeling of well-being, and it tends to put things into perspective.

3. Purchase a new wardrobe. I did this, and it was amazing. Something deep inside of me wanted a massive change, and I felt like a shoot coming out of a seed -- I wanted to pop open! And with that, I threw out all of my black clothes -- which just made me look frumpy -- got myself a stylist and shook it all up! It was an amazing experience. And in doing this, I managed to attract my partner (and we will be getting married soon). He saw the real me for the first time. So chuck out the old to bring in the new!

4. Splurge on yourself. If you spend money on yourself, you will start to feel that you're worth it. I found that doing nice stuff for myself, even though I may not have wanted to at the time, made a really big difference to the way I felt. I would go to a spa or buy myself some roses. I would do the things that my ex used to do for me, so that I could get in touch with what it means to treat myself like my own best friend. Waiting for someone else to do this for us is like saying that you can't do it yourself, which isn't true. So go ahead and do something nice for yourself: Buy yourself dinner, some roses, or even some new earrings.

5. Get the support you need. An important way to move on after divorce is to hang around people that are right for you, who inspire you, and who will take you where you want to go. I believe that you become who you surround yourself with, and I now notice that my circle of friends has completely changed. This philosophy has tremendously helped me to move on. In fact, I don't know about you, but I didn't have much of a choice in the matter, as most of my couple friends didn't want to hang around a single chick!

In short, learn to inspire yourself and become your own best friend by doing lovely things for yourself that will nurture your soul and help you embrace how amazing you really are!

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