Lindsay Mills became famous this week -- not because of anything she did, but because of the man she dated. She was identified as the girlfriend of Edward Snowden, the man who claimed responbility for leaking classified documents about the National Security Agency's secret surveillance program to The Guardian and The Washington Post.
The colorful details of her life -- she has pole danced, she has an uber-emo blog, she's a member of Waikiki's Acrobatic Troupe, she moved to Hawaii to be with Snowden -- are ripe for media attention. (Jezebel commented that her story "reads like escapist fan fiction," and we have to agree.) So it's no surprise that some media outlets have chosen to describe Mills in an ... interesting ... way, painting her as Snowden's manic pixie dream girl.
Here are six of the most absurd descriptions we've read so far:
1. "[Snowden] shared his life with a woman of fiery colour." We assume that The Telegraph is simply trying to convey that she has red hair?
2. "As for Lindsay Mills, it’s fair to say she possesses several physical qualities that are commonly associated with being hot." Breaking news! Edward Snowden had a conventionally attractive girlfriend!
3. "This hero [Snowden] could be spending some quality time with this flexible, uninhibited, talented beauty." EveryJoe apparently saw into Lindsay Mills' soul through her photos...
4. "She is an extrovert who enjoys walking around naked whenever she can." Way to highlight the relevant details, Daily Mail.
5. "Edward Snowden allegedly left behind a gorgeous -- and now completely disconsolate -- girlfriend." Looks come first, always.
6. "The man behind the stunning leaks of top secret National Security Agency documents is no stranger to bombshells. Edward Snowden, 29, ... abandoned a knockout girlfriend." Bombshells. Get it?
At the end of the day, Lindsay Mills is not a manic pixie dream girl or a character in someone's poorly written spy novel -- she's a young woman in her 20s whose boyfriend seems to have just up and left her for Hong Kong, leaving a national scandal in his wake -- a woman who is being obsessively hounded by the media for something she likely had no involvement in.
Here's hoping that Lindsay Mills eventually gets some of her privacy back so that she can dance or walk around naked or swim in a waterfall without the world watching.
This video, while by no means the worst out there, is just one of many "photo diary" mashups of Mills floating around the Internet.