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06/20/2013 11:54 am ET

How To Explain 'Yeezus' To Your Kids

When it comes to the sandbox, knowledge is power -- you just can't let your kids hit the pit with an empty bucket.

The usual culprits of an embarrassing "Charlie didn't know that ..." pointed in your little angel's direction are the dreaded, "Where do babies come from?" or "Grandma is on vacation forever?" questions. But now, there's a much hairier tale to relay to those of a certain age: "Mom, what is a Yeezus?" And so it begins ...

1. Let's say it together: "Yee-zus"
how to explain yeezus to your kids

2. What does Yeezus look like? Well, Yeezus is all business all the time.
how to explain yeezus to your kids

3. What does Yeezus say? Yeezus says he's met your maker.
how to explain yeezus to your kids

4. What doesn't Yeezus say? Yeezus doesn't say please.
how to explain yeezus to your kids

5. What Does Yeezus do for fun? He's not too picky, but he steers clear of the Hamptons.
how to explain yeezus to your kids

6. Does he have a girlfriendddd? Indeed, he does.
how to explain yeezus to your kids

Yeezus sounds like a real peach. Yes, yes he is.

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