Showing patriotism this Independence Day is easy if you follow these tips. Though, we admit our grasp on patriotism might be a little fuzzy. America!
1. Make sure you have the right kind of cheese
2. Sharpen your knives
3. Wear some hotpants
4. Hit on your daughter's friends
5. Get an American Hairless Terrier
6. Find Ryan Seacrest and hang out with him
7. Listen to some folk music
8. Listen to all of Don McClean's "American Pie." Yes, all of it.
9. Watch all four "American Pie" movies. Yes, all of them.
10. Import some werewolves from Paris or London.
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One simple clip and your hair becomes a symbol of national pride.
Works best with American wines.
Wooden Hot Air Balloon
About time someone made one of these.
Wine Bottle Necklace
A subtle hint of the nation's colors.
The stars on the American flag in soap-form.
Delicious-looking patriotic cupcakes that you can't eat because they're not actually food.
Never have to drink through a country-neutral straw again.
A nice patriotic break from the same old boring pink tutus.
So what if your dog doesn't understand the concept of different groups of people separated by various governments? Doesn't mean they can't still be patriotic.
Finally, patriotic jars.
Pretty subtle, but still effective.
Hula hoop with some pride.
Tissue Box Holder
No more boring, unpatriotic tissue boxes.
Fall under the judging gaze of an eagle as you become more and more inebriated.
Tic Tac Holder
The regular, non-patriotic Tic Tac boxes just won't cut it.
Only for patriotic fragrances.
Patriotic Bowl Fillers
Need something to fill all those empty bowls in your house? Look no further than these patriotic bowl fillers.
The most patriotic flip flops around.
Guaranteed to be the most patriotic hook/bookmark available in today's market.
Uncle Sam Whirligig
A wooden whirligig of Uncle Sam with American flags for hands.
Protect your eyes from dangerous UV rays, while also reflecting some national pride back at the Sun.
A red, white and blue popsicle made out of soap a warm summer day of hand washing.
Uncle Sam Dog Hat
Finally, a patriotic hat made for dogs.
Only red, white and blue feathers on this tree.
Uncle Sam Wine Stopper
Uncle Sam is thrilled to keep your wine fresh.
Have to use all three at the same time to get the combination of the red, white and blue washcloths.
Makes your cupcakes so much more delicious.
A red, white and blue whistle made from Coca-Cola bottle caps.
A patriotic fork, spoon and spreader.
The most patriotic way to transport that bottle of 1992 Merlot.
No question of this bear's national pride.
Uncle Sam Wall Art
Uncle Sam's smiling face affixed to your wall.
Liven up those normal, unpatriotic zippers.
Baby Leg Warmers
Finally some patriotic leg warmer options for babies.
Scrabble Tile Pendant
The most patriotic Scrabble tile.