Huffpost Weddings

Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

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Wow, talk about bad manners! On Friday, we received a truly horrifying email from one of our readers that would make etiquette guru Emily Post turn in her grave. The reader, Tanya, told us about a recent Facebook message she received from a bride after attending her wedding last month. In the message, the bride expressed her dissatisfaction with the $100 wedding gift she received from Tanya and her date. You can read the message for yourself below, but we must warn you: Your blood WILL boil.

Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.

Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: "Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn't expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you'll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything." [all sic]

It's infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn't show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn't grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it...or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them.

Celebrity wedding planner and HuffPost Weddings blogger Sharon Sacks weighed in on the matter, calling this "an inappropriate response to a wedding gift."

"Weddings are a wonderful time to share with family and friends," she wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. "The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand.“

Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger Xochitl Gonzalez also commented on the Facebook message, saying that it's one of the most classless stories she's ever heard.

"There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding," she wrote in an email. "Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it's certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift (i.e. the guy who gave the couple a gift basket and they freaked out). There is a disgusting trend emerging where people are not only passing judgment about the gifts they receive, but they are verbalizing it -- even on the Bravo show 'Newlyweds,' they showed one of the grooms mocking guests on TV for being 'cheap with gifts.' It's classless and tacky."

On Monday, we asked our followers on Facebook what they thought about this bride, and to tell us how they would respond to the message. Click through the slideshow below to see what they had to say. Then, let us know how you would handle this awful situation in the comments.

Responses To Ungrateful Bride's Message
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