Ideally, newlyweds should have a great relationship with their new spouse's family. But some in-laws can be a nightmare, offering unsolicited advice on everything from wedding plans to child-rearing. For attorney Ini Ghidirmic, nonstop in-law drama ultimately led to divorce. He shared his story on HuffPost Live during a discussion about how to best cope with "monster-in-laws."
"It was basically a constant undermining of our relationship," he explained to host Nancy Redd. "From telling us 'when we used to be young, we used to do this, this and this.' 'By the time I was your age, I had this, that and the other.' Nothing I could do--we could do--was ever good enough."
Throughout his 10-year relationship with his ex-wife, Ghidirmic's in-laws often interfered in important decisions the couple was making. "[They had a] tendency to influence my ex-wife's feelings towards certain things such as 'you know, she's never going to be happy living in California, she's always going to dislike California'," he said.
At a family dinner in Seattle, he discovered that his father-in-law was even betting on the couple's future. "[A family friend] said 'do you know that your father-in-law made me a bet for $1000 that in two years' time you guys are going to be moving up here?'" Ghidirmic said. "I understand that they want their daughter close, but shouldn't we talk about this as a couple?"
When his marriage began to fall apart, Ghidirmic's in-laws swooped in so quickly that he claims he didn't have a chance to try to work on the relationship. "They couldn't get rid of me fast enough. The minute she said 'you know, I'm no longer happy being married,' they flew her up to Seattle, they gave her a house and a car. And they just could not do enough for her to be basically away from me."
We’re basically your best friend... with better advice. Learn more