A lot of women spend time on the lookout for Mr. Right, their ideal "better half" who makes them feel whole. It's a concept that has long been romanticized on the silver screen -- who could forget the famous "you complete me" line from "Jerry McGuire"? -- but the real key to finding Mr. Right may be to stop looking altogether.
This is what Linda Francis says she learned after she met her partner of 20 years, Spiritual Partnership author Gary Zukav. When the couple sat down with Oprah for a candid discussion about meaningful relationships, love and spiritual growth, Francis shared her personal experience of how Zukav, her own Mr. Right, wound up in her life.
Prior to meeting Zukav, Francis had been looking for Mr. Right and was in a relationship with a man she had hoped would complete her. However, she says that her focus on finding the right man clouded her judgment and prevented her from seeing the signs that he was not a good partner.
"I had been looking for someone to be the right one," Francis tells Oprah. "I had red flags everywhere, but I didn't want to look at them. I didn't want to see what was going on. I was in denial. But once I saw what was happening and allowed myself to feel the pain of that, then I was able to say, 'I am not going to be around you anymore because I really am going to be the right person for myself.'"
That's exactly what Francis did. "I created a life where I was the right person for myself and changed myself, rather than trying to find the right person to complete me," she says.
It was only then that Francis says she came across her true Mr. Right. "I know I never would have met Gary had I not done the work," she states.
"I think that's so powerful, what you just said," Oprah replies. "It resonates with me... Instead of looking for the right person, work to make yourself the right person for you. The right person will then be drawn to you based upon the work that you've done for yourself."