DIVORCE
07/12/2013 05:15 pm ET Updated Jul 12, 2013

Relationship Lessons: What Readers Want In A Future Partner

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There's nothing like a bad relationship to convince you of what you do -- and really don't -- want in your next relationship.

That's what we were reminded of Thursday, when a conversation broke out on Reddit about the qualities people said they want in a future partner after dealing with an ex who lacked those traits.

The original poster, reallysad1, said she's now looking for "a guy that reassures [her] that he loves [her]" and "doesn't end it when the going gets tough, but fights for [the relationship] every day."

Another Redditor, naptownhayday, offered a response that hits home if you're the kind of person who tends to put your significant other first, sometimes even to the detriment of yourself:

I want one thing. Every girl I have ever dated I put on a pedestal. People tell me not to but it's who I am. I like doing that. The only thing I want is to meet a girl who pulls me up [on] that pedestal with her. That will be our place where we are separate from the world. The place I can shower you with all my love and she can shower me with hers.

But we really had to hand it to Redditor TAheknowsmyreg, who responded with a list that put the impetus to change on himself, rather than his future girlfriend:

My relationship ended because of my immaturity. So here is what I want from myself.
  • Communicate better.
  • Understand my emotions.
  • Be more confrontational. Don't just go-along-to-get-along.
  • Go out more. On my own. Without feeling guilty.
  • Socialize more. Don't use him as a social crutch.
  • Understand what I want/need from my sex life.
  • Let go.
  • Do things for myself to help with confidence.
  • Communicate better.

Now that's some real talk a lot of us need to hear after a breakup!

Inspired by the Redditors' honesty in the thread, we decided to ask our readers on Facebook and Twitter to share with us what qualities they want in a future partner that their ex lacked.

From emotional maturity to a compatible sex drive, click through the slides below to see what they had to say, then head to the comments and tell us what traits you're looking for in your next partner.

PHOTO GALLERY
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BEFORE YOU GO
Qualities My Next Partner Must Have
PHOTO GALLERY
Qualities My Next Partner Must Have

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