NSA leaker Edward Snowden might be able to seal the deal on getting asylum in Russia if he tries some of these tactics on Vladimir Putin.
1. Come onnnn
2. Pwetty Pwease?
3. I'm willing to leave you alone in a room with a whale and a crossbow and not ask any questions.
4. I know a guy who wants to do a calendar of topless dudes on horseback.
5. You want Russians to make more babies? I'll take care of it. Don't ask.
6. I can get you an unlimited supply of furry hats.
7. You wanna hug more bears? I know a guy. And not just polar bears. Any kind of bear you want.
8. I have access to many endangered creatures you can wrestle.
9. I know of a land where you can hunt people for sport.