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07/16/2013 10:46 am ET Updated Jul 16, 2013

9 Things Edward Snowden Could Say To Vladimir Putin To Gain Asylum (PHOTOS)

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NSA leaker Edward Snowden might be able to seal the deal on getting asylum in Russia if he tries some of these tactics on Vladimir Putin.

1. Come onnnn
vladimir putin

2. Pwetty Pwease?
vladimir putin

3. I'm willing to leave you alone in a room with a whale and a crossbow and not ask any questions.
vladimir putin whale

4. I know a guy who wants to do a calendar of topless dudes on horseback.
vladimir putin horse

5. You want Russians to make more babies? I'll take care of it. Don't ask.
vladimir putin toast

6. I can get you an unlimited supply of furry hats.
vladimir putin animals

7. You wanna hug more bears? I know a guy. And not just polar bears. Any kind of bear you want.
vladimir putin bear

8. I have access to many endangered creatures you can wrestle.
vladimir putin tiger

9. I know of a land where you can hunt people for sport.
vladimir putin tiger

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