Steve King thinks most young undocumented immigrants haul "75 pounds of marijuana across the desert," though he might be confusing them with Coachella attendees. Anthony Weiner sexted through 2012, begging the question: What the hell has to happen for someone to finally switch to Snapchat? And if the last two days have taught us anything about media strategy, it's that Syria's rebels need to start giving birth to royals and/or snapping photos of their man parts ASAP. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013:

HOUSE REPUBLICANS COALESCING AROUND DREAMER REFORMS - Elise Foley: "House Republicans made clear on Tuesday that some are open to allowing Dreamers, the young undocumented immigrants who came to the country as children, to become citizens. Their parents, though, may be left out in the cold. 'I do not believe that parents who made the decision to illegally enter the U.S. while forcing their children to join them should be afforded the same treatment as these kids,' Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) said at an immigration subcommittee hearing. 'Because let's be clear -- parents bringing their young children to the U.S. illegally is not something we want to encourage.' The hearing comes after Goodlatte and Republican Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) announced they are working on a bill, tentatively named the KIDS Act, to offer Dreamers a path to citizenship. The legislators haven't yet released any details of their bill, including the cutoff age for Dreamers and what would be required for children to secure citizenship. While the bill is still just a concept, it's already receiving praise and criticism from both sides -- particularly from Democrats who say the piecemeal approach is unfair and calling it a smokescreen for Republicans' refusal to address the broader undocumented population." [HuffPost]

John Boehner says no one has worked as hard on immigration reform as he has. Chris Frates asked whether the speaker would continue his "hands off" approach this fall. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Let's get back to the premise of the question. Nobody spent more time trying to fix a broken immigration system than I have," Boehner said. "I talked about it the day after the election, and I've talked about it a hundred times since. And while some may disagree about how we're going about fixing the broken immigration system, it's been a big goal of mine." [National Journal]

If "working hard on immigration reform" is slang for "slouched in a leather recliner with all the lights off as I nurse a bottle of cabernet sauvignon while quietly cursing every member of the 2010 freshman class' name" then... true.

LARRY SUMMERS FOR FED CHAIR? We hear Matthew Lesko's still in the running, despite what Ezra Klein says: "The word among Federal Reserve watchers right now is that the choice is down to Janet Yellen or Larry Summers as Ben Bernanke's replacement. I can't find anyone who really thinks it'll be Roger Ferguson, Tim Geithner, Alan Blinder, or some other dark horse. People dismissed Summers's chances a month or two ago, but he's increasingly viewed as the leading candidate today -- and opinions on this, for reasons I don't fully understand (though I suspect have to do with a bunch of elite trial balloons going up at the same time), have really hardened in the last 72 hours." [WashPost]

ANTHONY WEINER ACCUSED OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT... AGAIN - Until now, "Carlos Danger" was best known as the protagonist of "Ft. Lauderdale Nights," our dime store romance series (the next installment, "Riptide" will be out in September). No more. HuffPost New York: "Anthony Weiner held a press conference Tuesday afternoon to acknowledge new sexting reports and continue his candidacy for mayor of New York City. 'These things that I did were wrong and hurtful to my wife and caused us to go through many challenges in our marriage,' Weiner said. 'With 49 days left until primary day, I'm surprised that more things didn't come out sooner.' The announcement follows claims made on the nightlife website 'The Dirty' allegedly showing sex chats Weiner engaged in with an anonymous 22-year-old woman [under the pseudonym "Carlos Danger"]. During the conference, Weiner admitted some of the conversations went on both before and after his resignation from congress in 2011. His wife Huma Abedin was also present at Tuesday's announcement and spoke for the first time publicly about Weiner's sexting scandal and urged the public to move forward. 'It took a lot of work and a whole lot of therapy to get to a place where i could forgive Anthony,' Abedin said." [HuffPost]

Please, Mr. Danger is my father. Call me Carlos.

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - North Carolina Republicans carry on the grand tradition of insinuating that recipients of government assistance are drug addicts. "A joint committee in the North Carolina legislature is now working to clarify parts of a bill that would require drug testing and running background checks on some welfare applicants." [digtriad.com]

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BOEHNER THREATENS ANOTHER DEBT DEFAULT - At what point can Standard and Poor's downgrade from "AA+" to "Troll?" Luke Johnson: "House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) said Tuesday that the House would not vote to raise the debt ceiling without spending cuts, setting up a potential fight with President Barack Obama and congressional Democrats. 'We're not going to raise the debt ceiling without real cuts in spending. It's as simple as that," he said at a press conference. "I believe the so-called Boehner Rule is the right formula for getting that done," he said, referring to the notion that any increase in the statutory debt limit should be accompanied by an equivalent amount of spending cuts. The White House has insisted that President Barack Obama will not negotiate over the debt limit, which until 2011 both parties in Congress had raised without linking it to spending cuts. In 2011, House Republicans used the threat of the looming debt limit to negotiate the package of spending cuts known as sequestration. In January,the House voted to suspend the debt limit until May without concessions." [HuffPost]

SHINY PRIZES! Katrina Trinko: "Allies of Senator Mitch McConnell pushed Matt Bevin, a Kentucky businessman on the cusp of announcing he will run against McConnell in the state's GOP primary, to stay out of the race, according to an adviser close to Bevin....'First they tried to threaten him,' the source added, 'and then they tried to dangle shiny political prizes.'" McConnell flak Jesse Benton: "[T]here have been a number of people in Matt's life who approached our campaign for months, desperately trying to prevent Matt from making a serious mistake...They were concerned that he was surrounded by a small, fringe consultant class who stand to make money from self-funded campaign and wouldn't listen to reason.'" [National Review]

TRAYVON MARTIN'S FATHER HEADING TO HILL TOMORROW - Jen Bendery: "The Congressional Caucus on Black Men and Boys is holding its first-ever meeting on Wednesday, and Tracy Martin, the father of slain teenager Trayvon Martin, will be in attendance. The panel invited Martin to attend the meeting as a special guest, according to a press release. Martin will meet privately with caucus members ahead of the meeting and then stay for its duration. The topic of the meeting is 'The Status of Black Males: Ensuring Our Boys Mature Into Strong Men.' The caucus previously announced three speakers for Wednesday's meeting, but did not mention Martin would be there. Expected speakers include MSNBC host and Georgetown University professor Michael Eric Dyson, former congressman and NAACP President Kweisi Mfume, and David J. Johns, the head of the White House Initiative on Educational Excellence for African Americans. The caucus was created in March and is led by Rep. Danny Davis (D-Ill.) and Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-D.C.), both members of the Congressional Black Caucus. Norton's office confirmed that Martin will be giving opening remarks at the hearing." [HuffPost]

REPUBLICANS PIN 'F' TO REFRIGERATOR - It's the least productive Congress in history and House Republicans can't wait to Vine their pleasure with that fact. Roll Call: "When House Republicans retreat to their districts for the August recess, they will each be armed with a detailed guide -- an exceptionally detailed guide -- on how to assure their already convinced constituents that Washington is broken. The August House Republican Conference planning kit, titled 'Fighting Washington for All Americans,' offers a rare glimpse into the constituent outreach efforts of the GOP. Those efforts, it turns out, are highly calculated, hashtag-heavy and rife with references to the video app Vine. The best way to stay in Washington appears to be to deride Washington, and Republican leadership isn't going to deviate from that familiar formula. Of the many topics Republicans could delve into -- the impending debt ceiling debate, immigration or, perhaps, the sequester -- the 31-page GOP packet focuses on safer ground: Obamacare, jobs and the fierce hatred of all things Washington. It includes a cookbook of events largely aimed at whacking the Obama administration and highlighting House Republicans' efforts to fight it -- while using social media every step of the way." [Roll Call]

NSA SERIOUSLY FREAKED OUT BY A JUSTIN AMASH AMENDMENT - With Matt Sledge: "The National Security Agency called for a 'top secret' meeting with members of the House on Tuesday to lobby against the first House amendment to challenge the agency's authority to cull broad swaths of communications data, according to an invitation circulated in Congress. The amendment was authored by Rep. Justin Amash, a libertarian Republican from Michigan, and cosponsored by former chairman of the House Judiciary Committee and liberal Michigan Democratic Rep. John Conyers. The House ruled the amendment in order on Monday, and it is expected to get a vote sometime this week. NSA head Gen. Keith Alexander scheduled a last-minute, members-only briefing in response to the amendment, according to an invitation distributed to members of Congress this morning and forwarded to HuffPost. 'In advance of anticipated action on amendments to the DoD Appropriations bill, Ranking Member C.A. Dutch Ruppersberger of the House Intelligence Committee invites your Member to attend a question and answer session with General Keith B. Alexander of the National Security Agency,' reads the invitation." [HuffPost]

THE NSA DOESN'T HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO READ ITS OWN EMAILS, SAYS NSA OFFICIAL WHO IS CLEARLY LYING - That or America's counterintelligence officials might want to take a good hard look at their investigative strategies. ProPublica: "The NSA is a 'supercomputing powerhouse' with machines so powerful their speed is measured in thousands of trillions of operations per second. The agency turns its giant machine brains to the task of sifting through unimaginably large troves of data its surveillance programs capture. But ask the NSA, as part of a freedom of information request, to do a seemingly simple search of its own employees' email? The agency says it doesn't have the technology. 'There's no central method to search an email at this time with the way our records are set up, unfortunately,' NSA Freedom of Information Act officer Cindy Blacker told me last week. I filed a request last week for emails between NSA employees and employees of the National Geographic Channel over a specific time period. The TV station had aired afriendly documentary on the NSA and I want to better understand the agency's public-relations efforts." [ProPublica]

More BuzzFeed microtargeting: "29 Worst Things ABout Being An Unpaid Intern In Washington, D.C.

STEVE KING DISDAINFUL OF THE LEAN AND TONED PHYSIQUE OF AMERICA'S IMMIGRANTS - But don't expect "8-Minute Weed Mule Workout" to take the nation by storm. TPM: "According to Rep. Steve King's (R-IA) math, legalizing undocumented immigrants is untenable because for every valedictorian DREAMer -- immigrants brought to the U.S. as children -- there are 100 more who are carrying drugs across the border. 'Some of them are valedictorians, and their parents brought them in,' King told Newsmax in an interview last week. 'It wasn't their fault. It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians. They weren't all brought in by their parents.' 'For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert,' he continued. 'Those people would be legalized with the same act.' King introduced an amendment last month that would reverse the Obama administration's delayed deportations of DREAMers, leading DREAMers to stage a protest in his Washington office." [TPM]

Democrats are -- and cue the cash register noise here -- offended: "Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Fla.) called out King for the comments during a House Judiciary Committee subcommittee hearing on how Congress might establish the legal status of the children of illegal immigrants. With King sitting across the dais, Garcia read the comments and then said: 'It is offensive. And it is beneath the dignity of this body.'" [WaPo]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here is a vain dog.

COMFORT FOOD

- Baby is tickled by Dikembe Mutombo's Geico ad. [bit.ly/1c06vZK]

- Adorable animals act adorably near each other. [bit.ly/16WGPHR]

- Photos of adults posing with images of their younger, dorkier, high school selves. Like an "It Gets Better" campaign for 15-year-olds with acne issues. [bit.ly/14BxoBI]

- Classic works of art recreated with deli meats. Much to our dismay there are no baroque still lifes of boars' heads with Boar's Head. [bit.ly/133DLr3]

- "See Your Folks" is a calculator that tells you how many more times you'll visit your parents before they... depart this earthly realm. [bit.ly/1bd13or]

- A documentary profiling members of the Yakuza and other semi-legal businessmen who drive high performance cars. It's like "Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift" but with more people missing fingers. [bit.ly/1dQ3MAd]

- Next time you're on the Metro and single-tracking has delayed your commute by an hour, just be glad you're not commuting on the Beijing subway. [bit.ly/19fMK0D]

TWITTERAMA

@DCjourno will be on The Ed Show this weekend talking Royal Baby, Weiner and al Qaeda. Tune in!

@AriRabinHavt: Shouldn't Danger be his middle name?

@eliasisquith: I will be dropping out of this race to spend more time with other people's family.

ON TAP

TONIGHT

Chris Christie heads to San Francisco, which is basically the Secaucus of the west coast, for a fundraiser. Gotta nail down those Silicon Valley donors while you can. [San Francisco, CA]

6:30 pm: Koethi Zan's new book "The Never List" is feted with a D.C. book party. [3806 Alton Place NW]

6:30 pm: HuffPost's Radley Balko continues his D.C. promotional tour of his new book, "Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America's Police Forces" at Busboys & Poets. Radley will give a short talk and sign copies of his new book. [Busboys and Poets, 1025 5th Street NW]

7:45 pm: Ted Cruz gives a speech at Christians United for Israel" Night to Honor Israel" rally. Unclear which parts of Israel's socialist domestic policy Cruz will praise. [Washington Convention Center, 801 Vernon Place NW]

TOMORROW

8:00 am - 9:00am: Ben Cardin panders to fans of Jewish bread products and alliteration with the latest installment of his "Bagels with Ben" fundraiser. [38 Ivy Street SE]

7:00 pm - 9:00 pm: A slew of D.C. journalists and other Washington muckity mucks host a book party for Mark Leibovich, whose new book "This Town" chronicles the shortcomings of D.C. journalists and other Washington muckity mucks. If Escher were a political cartoonist, he'd have a field day with this event. [Adams Morgan]

Cory Booker crosses the Hudson for a fundraiser at [spit take] Ivanka Trump's Manhattan apartment. Of course. [New York City, NY]

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