In 1998, Iyanla Vanzant took "The Oprah Show" by storm, gracing Oprah's stage 20 times and talking to Harpo Studios about developing her own show. However, in 1999, Iyanla was approached with an offer by a television executive from another network and chose to accept it. Oprah and Iyanla didn't talk for 11 years until a 2011 "Oprah Show" conversation set the record straight for both of them -- but the path to peace wasn't easy.

Though Iyanla and Oprah have since put the falling out behind them, their rift ran deep. During an appearance on "Super Soul Sunday," Iyanla admits that she struggled with their past, but also seems grateful for how everything played out. "Had it not happened the way it happened, it wouldn't be so sweet right now," Iyanla says to Oprah. "That's why I say all things are lessons that God would have us learn."

Iyanla explains that she learned many lessons from her experience working with another network. "It shook me to my core," she says. "[I was also] hurt and guilty about the way I left here... Hurt that I didn't understand what I had done, and guilty because my… story is 'I always do the wrong thing.'"

This insecurity led Iyanla to make assumptions that could have compounded the situation. "When you said, 'Bless you, go forward," that's not what I heard," Iyanla tells Oprah. "What I heard was, 'You did the wrong thing and you're being punished.'"

With the experience behind her and more clarity at the forefront, Iyanla is now able to understand the life lesson that she was supposed to learn -- a lesson she says anyone and everyone should heed. "When you find yourself in a new situation... everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface. If you don't take a minute to breathe, to gather yourself... you will do what you've always done," Iyanla explains. "So, the lesson is: pause."

This one-word lesson often gets lost in the chaos of our daily lives. "We go from being 20 to 30 without a pause. Thirty to 40 without a pause. We go from one job to the next. From one bed to the next," Iyanla says. "Pause, boo. Take a breath."

In the above video, Iyanla also reflects on a deeply ingrained challenge that took her 40 years to acknowledge and explains how acknowledgement is essential in allowing yourself to pause and heal. "Facing the truth is hard. It is painful as hell," Iyanla says. "The truth will set you free, but you have to endure the labor pains of birthing it."

"Super Soul Sunday" airs on Sundays at 11 a.m. ET on OWN.

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  • Question 1

    <span style="font-size:150%">Who said, "You have to consciously create new messages to think when you start those old ones. And the new ones would be like, '... I'm allowed to feel this. This is good for my body. This is good for my soul. This is good for my relationship.' You really have to train yourself to replace those old messages with new ones, and it's actually easier than you would think"?</span>

  • Answer: Sex Therapist Dr. Laura Berman

    Back in 2009, Dr. Berman shared this advice with Luanne, a woman who said she'd never had an orgasm during her 20 years of marriage.

  • Question 2

    <span style="font-size:150%">Whose mustache did Oprah shave off during a live show in Times Square?</span>

  • Answer: Dr. Phil McGraw

    In the 10th anniversary issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, Dr. Phil advised readers to throw life a game changer every now and then. Later, in a 2010 appearance on "The Oprah Show," <a href="" target="_hplink">he let Oprah shave off his mustache</a> -- which he'd worn for 40 years!

  • Question 3

    <span style="font-size:150%">Which expert said, "So how bad is it? On a scale of 1 to 10? Maybe 1,000. And I don't say that lightly"?</span>

  • Answer: Money Expert Suze Orman

    Suze didn't sugarcoat her message to Felice, a mother of six who'd shopped her family more than $100,000 dollars into debt. Watch Oprah discuss the lesson she took from <a href="" target="_hplink">Felice's reality check from Suze</a>.

  • Question 4

    <span style="font-size:150%">Which expert gave the following advice: "If something brings up a bad memory or has negative energy around it, purge it, get rid of it"?</span>

  • Answer: O Creative Director Adam Glassman

    Adam shared this rule for getting rid of clothing with Oprah and viewers during an "Oprah Fridays Live!" show in 2010.

  • Question 5

    <span style="font-size:150%">Which expert said: "Time heals nothing. You can do the wrong thing for 10 years, and it doesn't equal the right thing for one day"?</span>

  • Answer: Dr. Phil McGraw

    Dr. Phil gave his take on the old adage that time heals everything during a show in 2000 on mother-daughter betrayals. Watch <a href="" target="_hplink">Oprah's reaction to this and other "Phil-isms</a>."

  • Question 6

    <span style="font-size:150%">During which expert's first appearance on the show did Oprah say, "That's the best damn job I ever saw," in response to his skill in helping a guest?</span>

  • Answer: Design Expert Nate Berkus

    Oprah was so impressed with <a href="" target="_hplink">Nate's makeover of a 319-square-foot studio apartment</a> that she told her audience to remember his name back in September 2002.

  • Question 7

    <span style="font-size:150%">Which expert accompanied a viewer to her high school reunion, where they sang a karaoke duet of "Summer Nights" from the musical "Grease"?</span>

  • Answer: Design Expert Nate Berkus

    It was his first "Oprah Show" fashion renovation. In 2009, <a href="" target="_hplink">Nate surprised a fifth-grade teacher</a> with a New York City makeover and then escorted her to her high school reunion.

  • Question 8

    <span style="font-size:150%">Which expert said: "We think that if we just buy the right thing, whether it's for our kids or ourselves or our home, we will acquire the life that we want -- that more is better. And it's actually simplicity. Like, happiness and abundance can be found in simplicity and actually in less"?</span>

  • Answer: Organizational Expert Peter Walsh

    Peter noticed that children always run and dance around in the empty rooms during his home decluttering projects. He shared with Oprah's audience that kids already understand that less is more. We adults have to learn it.

  • Question 9

    <span style="font-size:150%">Which expert was shirtless onstage with Oprah in 2007?</span>

  • Answer: Dr. Oz

    <a href="" target="_hplink">Dr. Oz stripped down to demonstrate Rolfing</a>, the technique developed by Dr. Ida Pauline Rolf to separate bound-up connective tissues that link the muscles.