If you can think of a better time to practice your kung-fu moves than when you're pissed drunk and stumbling down the street, we would LOVE to hear it.
Also on HuffPost:
The Saddest Cover-Up
Yeah, that small piece of paper should trick 'em.
Dr. Pepper Is Not The Brightest
10 bold calories and 10 meaningless ones.
Foot Long Fib
A sandwich of sadness and shame.
That's just where Dave likes to sleep.
Burned To Perfection
Humans and Elves have different definitions for the word, "care."
Giraffes = Penguins
According to this Science text book.
Come On, Push It
The Cake Is A Lie
But still delicious.
Come on, Ice Breaker, do your job and get out of there!
But... It says... Oh, whatever.
Lift 'N Peel
You said if I lifted, it would peel. You lied.
And also a little bit fake.
If this isn't junk mail, then we don't know what is.
We'll just sit here until the next roll magically appears.
Was not with these cookies.
One Car = Full
But hey, that one car has got a lot of personality.
It's 7% honey and that's more than enough.