Huffpost Divorce

After An Affair: How Cheating Spouses Can Make Amends After Infidelity

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How do you convince your spouse that you want to save your marriage after you've cheated? One of your first priorities should be apologizing to him or or her, but not until you've given some real thought to why you're apologizing, psychiatrist Scott Haltzman wrote in a HuffPost Divorce piece Monday:

If you have already apologized, your mate may have failed to accept it because it does not feel genuine. Even if, in your heart of hearts, you swear you mean it, it may not be perceived that way. For your message of remorse to get across, you've got to do a fair amount of introspection to figure out what you are apologizing for -- even before you say the words. You are apologizing for much more than "having an affair." There is a lot more that you have done, or not done, that surrounded the affair: things like causing embarrassment to the family, giving up family time, or even bringing home STDs. Your partner wants you to take responsibility for all of it. You should.

So what else can cheating spouses do to mend their marriages after infidelity? Below, our readers share some of the actions they believe unfaithful spouses need to take in order to rebuild trust. Click through the slideshow to see what they had to say, then weigh in with your thoughts in the comments.

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Around the Web

What to do after an affair - CNN.com

Infidelity: Mending your marriage after an affair - MayoClinic.com

After the Affair — Modern Love - NYTimes.com

Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.: The Six Steps Of Recovery After An Affair

After Your Affair — iVillage

Marriage After Infidelity: Psychologist Says Affair May Strengthen Relationship