WEDDINGS
08/21/2013 12:29 am ET

Marriage Fears Revealed By Our Readers

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Getting married -- however exciting and wonderful it may be -- is a major life decision that can also spark fear and doubt. Have you found the "right" person? How will marriage change your relationship? Do you believe that great love really can last a lifetime?

On Tuesday, we asked our readers to reveal their biggest fears about tying the knot. Scroll down for nine honest confessions. Then, share yours in the comments below.

When my wife and I married over five years ago, we were young (still are). We didn't have much money, rented a cheap apartment and lived very busy lives to make ends meet. My biggest fear going into our marriage was wondering how we would find time to help our relationship grow in the midst of all the business. We've learned that marriage takes a lot of work, but that there is beauty in the fact that you get to experience life together. - Lawrence, 25, of Greenville, N.C.

My biggest fear was that I would give in to the cold feet. Forever sounded like a death sentence. "One day at a time" is more my speed. I like discovering my husband every day, without any prior promises of eternal love. I like knowing that I may or may not like everything I learn about him. "Till death do us part" sounds more like a prison sentence than love. I prefer "let me see what I can learn to love about you today." - Raluca, 36, of Los Angeles

My biggest fear about marriage is its potential failure. These days, it seems like epic love is rare -- you know, the kind of love you see in "The Notebook" (thank you, Nicholas Sparks). There are plenty of stories where people fall out of love, don't want to settle down, cheat, come out of the closet, want someone younger or find that after spending thousands of dollars on a platinum wedding, the marriage falls apart. You have no control over how your partner acts or thinks. What if I'm all in and he (or she) is partially out down the line? What if we decide that forever is not a real option for us? - Christine, 25, of California

My biggest fear about marriage is that I won't have enough time to explore myself or my career because I'm still 24 and have a lot on my plate. But maybe that's just me being self-centered. - Marantina, 24, of Indonesia

That it will somehow make things change. That my best friend of 10 years will suddenly become a stranger, or just a roommate. That life (and reality) will get in the way of the fairytale love we've had so far. That I won't be good enough. That he won't be good enough. - Ololade, 27, of Nigeria.

For over a year while we were planning our wedding, every conversation (and argument) we had was about colors and flowers and party planning details. I was terrified that we had nothing else to talk about! I was scared that once the party planning was over we would be silent and grow apart. But it was just the opposite. Once the party was over and everyone was gone, we began to really talk again. About everything, anything. It was like dating all over again -- we were catching up and remembering why we fell in love in the first place. Now we are silent from time to time. But it is a beautiful silence. And when you're not busy talking, there's an awful lot of kissing you can do! - Shayna, 29, of Manhattan

My greatest fear is boredom. I understand that after a few months, the butterflies disappear and real love kicks in. I need to find someone who's totally different and passionate so I'll never be bored. - Eudo, 24, of Texas

When I got married, my biggest fear was that it could fail. I love my husband dearly, and I had all kinds of confidence about the strength of our relationship at the time. But I had seen all too often how people around me had grown apart from their spouses after a number of years. And I had many failed relationships prior to marriage. Now happily married for nearly four years, I no longer have this lingering fear. I know that because I waited for the right partner and until my late 30s to get married, I found someone who can and does grow with me. I'm happily playing for keeps! - Brande, 40, of Philadelphia

I fear the unknown when it comes to marriage. Will he grow as I grow? Will he be able to be faithful? Will he be willing to stay with me if he already knows I don't want another child? Will the man that I finally decide to break down walls for, love me when I'm most vulnerable? The unknown is scary and I don't think I'm willing to risk it all to find out. - Michelle, 29, of Pennsylvania

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