Corey Feldman's Drug-Fueled Orgy Sounds Worse Than His Birthday Party

08/27/2013 02:46 pm ET

The Corey Feldman-hosted orgies of your dreams will never live up to their nightmarish realities.

Lila Whitney gave Defamer a description of what said party looked like. It wasn't pretty.

The party reminds me of that episode of Saved by the Bell where a fictitious celebrity comes to Bayside High to film an anti-drug PSA, and then offers Kelly some weed. Only, the drug is ecstasy, not marijuana. And everyone is naked.

Things got really depressing really fast.

Suddenly, Corey stops f**king the hot blonde and tells her to change the song on the CD. Bewildered by the request, and the circumstances, I start to listen to the music. It sounds vaguely familiar. I realize Corey has requested to hear his own CD. He’s having an orgy and listening to himself sing at the same time.

Both accounts -- his birthday bonanza and this undated orgy -- give us reason to believe that the Corey Feldman comeback tour will probably never happen. We're not even sure if we want it to.

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