You'll never be the same after watching a Patrick Swayze lookalike tear off his clothes as he makes bread circa 1985.

Via Tastefully Offensive

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  • "Papa Says It Won't Hurt Us"

    Yeah, but you still probably shouldn't let the kids take the gun to bed.<a href="">(source)</a>

  • 7-Up For Babies!

    That's right! Get your baby started early on empty calories, with tooth decay to boot! <a href="">(source)</a>

  • He'll Beat You If The Coffee's Stale!

    Chase & Sanborn: Threatening women with domestic violence since 1862! <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Baby Knows: Marlboros Are The Best For Mommy!

    These kids look downright envious of their mother's nicotine addiction. On the upside, cool hat! <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Fat? Get a "Sanitized" Tape Worm!

    Somehow we don't believe the gaurrentee on the bottom of "No ill effects!". They did say <i>tape worm</i>, right? <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Blatz Beer "Nourishing Tonic" For Mom... And Baby!

    Another case of babies drinking terrible things. What happened to warm milk? <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Doctors Recommend: Smoking!

    If doctors smoke them, they must be good for you! Because doctors never die of unnatural causes. <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Here's Your Whiskey, Master!

    That's right, he's "double rich" because he gets all of his servant's money too. <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Woman = Need Taming

    Who Wants Women To Be "Spirited" Anyway? <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Athletes Smoke Cigarettes For Energy!

    Wow, the Olympics really have changed. <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Bleach Your Skin... Or Face Being "Homely"

    If "milky-white" skin is the only "natural" skin, why do we need a special product to get it? <a href="">(source)</a>

  • It's A Man's World... Ties!

    We're not arguing that it's a man's world, but we missed the part where women were slaves <a href="">(source)</a>

  • Oh, So THAT'S What Wives Are For!

    We thought they were for lifelong companionship, mutual earning and habitual love. Silly us. <a href="">(source)</a>

  • "She Needs Sugar In Her Life. For Energy."

    They forgot the part of Mary's day where she has a serious crash, breaks out, and gains 20 lbs. <a href="">(source)</a>

  • So Easy, A Woman Can Do It!

    "Uh Oh, Look what I figured out! Next I'll be driving a car!"<a href="">(source)</a>

  • Tipalet Tobacco

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="/images/profile/user_placeholder.gif" /></a><a href="">jimmyfirepants</a>:<br />Blowing smoke in a woman's face is an aphrodisiac...

  • Pack your arteries with happiness!

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="" /></a><a href="">wooddm</a>:<br />Would the Lard Information Council lie to you?

  • Rug

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="" /></a><a href="">Yari Baldrich</a>:<br />Machista to the Core...=-p

  • A run in your stockings? Oh, we're through!

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="/images/profile/user_placeholder.gif" /></a><a href="">ddmaxfield</a>:<br />I've always thought pantyhose must be some cruel form of torture.

  • What toothache?

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="/images/profile/user_placeholder.gif" /></a><a href="">Frederick Freekowtski</a>:<br />you'll get that house built in NO TIME, kid!

  • Smoking Santa

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="" /></a><a href="">TTC2010</a>:<br />Santa endorses Lucky Strikes. Merry Christmas!

  • The Dentist Loves Viceroys

    <a href=""><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="/images/profile/user_placeholder.gif" /></a><a href="">Bioflyer</a>:<br />Make my work worthwhile