Are you in a sexless marriage?
Registered nurse and author Mary Jo Fay stopped by HuffPost Live on Tuesday to talk about what couples can do to reignite the spark.
Fay -- who wrote the book Please Dear, Not Tonight: The Truth About Women and Sex -- told host Nancy Redd about the importance of teaching women (and their partners) about what gets them going.
"Women mostly don't have any idea about their own bodies," she said. "So if they don't know how to take care of themselves and then they don't know how to share what they want with their partner, then things go bad. And if things go bad too many times, the old headache starts coming around and that pattern just becomes a constant and you don't get it fixed."
Fay also emphasized that much of what she teaches couples is surprisingly basic (but little-known) information about the female sexuality.
"I really work with people on understanding basic things. They're all like, 'Oh, is this tantra? Is this all this other stuff?'" she said. "And I'm like, 'No, it's basic, basic stuff that we don't talk about.' ... G-spot, where is it? I can show you how to find it. People aren't sure they have it. Basic stuff that really lights up a marriage. And if you're getting satisfaction, you're likely to come back for more."
Watch the video for more advice on how to jumpstart a sexless marriage. Then, click through the slideshow below to learn about 9 health benefits of orgasms.
According to Dr. Jennifer Berman, co-founder of the Female Sexual Medicine Center at UCLA, orgasms increase your circulation, keeping the blood flowing to your genital area. This in turn keeps your tissue healthy!
Although it can't be considered an alternative to daily exercise, having an orgasm is a cardiovascular activity. "Your heart rate increases, blood pressure increases [and your] respiratory rate increases," says Berman. And because it's akin to running in many physiological respects, your body also releases endorphins. Sounds like a pretty fun way to work your heart out.
Most of our lives are so hectic that it's hard to even imagine being relaxed. However, it turns out that sexual release can double as stress relief. Not only do the hormones help with this task, Berman says that being sexual also gives our minds a break: "When we're stressed out and overextending ourselves, [we're] not being in the moment. Being sexual requires us to focus on one thing only."
There actually might be something to the idea that we "glow" after sex. The hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), which shows increased levels during sexual excitement, can actually make your skin healthier.
Last but not least, when you know what it takes to make yourself orgasm, you may increase your emotional confidence and intelligence. "When you understand how your body works and ... [that it] is capable of pleasure on its own, regardless of your partner status, you make much better decisions in relationships," says Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., a sexologist and certified sexuality educator. "You don't look to someone else to legitimize that you're a sexual being."