POLITICS
09/20/2013 12:26 pm ET

Eric Swalwell: GOP Needs To Wake Up From 'Radical, Ideological Wet Dream'

Your political freak show highlight of the ongoing battle to pass a continuing resolution to fund the government and avert a government shutdown comes courtesy of Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) Today, he characterized the GOP faction that's once again decided to pursue an utterly futile effort to defund the Affordable Care Act as the victims of a nocturnal emission. Per the Washington Post:

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) said on the House floor Friday that the GOP needs to wake up from "radical, ideological wet dream" when it comes to reversing President Obama's health care law.

Time to clutch those pearls! The House Rules and Manual stipulates that "members should refrain from using profanity or vulgarity in debate," but it has nothing to say about whether the term "wet dream" qualifies, so Swalwell is probably in the clear of any sanctions. Even still, people on Twitter are straight up gettin' the vapors, as is their wont.

The Post refers to "wet dream" -- a term that many children are introduced to in the gently empathetic novels of Judy Blume -- as an "R-rated term." It's decidedly not. "Cream dream" gets you to "PG-13." In order to get the "R" rating, you really have to make an effort, and say something like "jizzmare" or "pre-dawn mattress spunk party." Let's have some standards, people.

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