09/25/2013 10:24 am ET | Updated Sep 25, 2013

Sorry I Stole Your Doorknob, I Was Tripping Balls And Thought It Was A Muffin (PHOTO)

This almost reads like a William Carlos Williams poem. Except, somehow, it's even better.

After Reddit user Mason Peressini and his friends threw a party last weekend, they found their doorknob had been stolen.

Three days later, however, someone brought the doorknob back along with this note:

This brings up two important lessons: Drugs are bad, and when you throw parties, make sure you hide your muffins in a safe place.


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