We always expect to get along swimmingly with other fitness freaks. But just like everyone who likes music doesn't groove to the same jam, sometimes we stumble upon someone with a passion for fitness that we really don't understand. And while we applaud anyone and everyone making exercise a part of their regular routine, there are a few strange gym behaviors we just can't get behind.
Here, a guide to some of those odd ducks and other breeds of gym rats you're bound to see at your next sweat session.
The look: More muscles from head to toe than between the ears. Tank tops required, short shorts preferred.
The workout: Lifting free weights impossible for anyone else to pick up or hogging the bench press.
The mantra: "I pick things up and put them down" -- but only communicates in grunts.
The Beauty Queen
The look: More makeup than you'd wear on your wedding day. Ponytail optional.
The workout: StairMaster
The mantra: "I don't sweat, I sparkle."
The look: Shirtless on the treadmill, maybe even barefoot. Naked in the locker room long enough to make everyone else uncomfortable -- and that's before they start talking to you.
The workout: Abductor and adductor machines
The mantra: "Well, as Marilyn always said, 'The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up!'"
The Talk Show Host
The look: Serious chatter. Will be accompanied by guest. May sometimes resort to cell phone.
The workout: The only thing getting a real workout is that mouth.
The mantra: "And then she said..."
The look: Like they own the place. The tenant uses three towels, two lockers and a whole bench in the locker room. He or she spreads shower supplies, hair accessories and makeup on every available inch of counter space. May be seen eating takeout in locker room.
The workout: Stretching perpendicularly to everyone else on the mats
The mantra: "Mi casa es... mi casa."
The Couch Potato
The look: Zoned out on a treadmill in front of a TV or on an elliptical with a month's worth of US Weekly
The workout: Does turning pages count?
The mantra: "What channel is 'Friends' on?"
The look: High-fives trainers and instructors, introduces himself to new faces, has his name on his locker and the rules about cutting locks left overnight don't apply.
The workout: You mean, the gym isn't just for socializing?
The mantra: "You come here often?"
The look: Flip flops, jeans, non-jog bra -- whatever the missing element is, it's clear some crucial piece of gym gear just didn't make it into his or her bag this morning.
The workout: You'll know you've encountered a Forgetful when she's squeezing in next to you at Zumba five minutes after class started.
The mantra: "I know it's in here somewhere..."
The look: Business casual.
The workout: Anything that can be done in 10 minutes flat -- or less -- without mussing up the hair.
The mantra: "The greatest wealth is health."
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