10/07/2013 01:52 pm ET

This Lady Has Forgotten More About Massaging Cats Than You Will Ever Know (VIDEO)

Where to even begin with this video? First of all, there's never been a more perfect wardrobe ever. Second, well... just everything else.

Everything Is Terrible shared this masterpiece with the world in 2009, but it has risen to the top of reddit in just the last day. If you have a cat, this has everything you need to know in order to develop a really creepy relationship with him/her.

Here are a few of the pearls of wisdom our intrepid cat massage expert offers:

  • "Petting is passé."
  • "If you're right-handed use your right hand, left-handers use left..."
  • "Remember, you can't fool drool"
  • "The front of your cat is a veritable treasure chest of fun."
  • "A cat's tail is his badge of honor."

Please take special note of the cat's look to the camera at 2:35.


Cats vs. Your Stuff
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