Recently, we ranked American candy bars in order, from worst to best. You all, as ever, had some thoughts on our selections. Aside from insisting that many English candy bars should have been on the list (which is why we stipulated American since English candy bars beat American candy bars by a million taste points), the main source of complaint was that we didn't include Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Reese's are a beloved candy around here, and the reason they weren't included is simple. They are not candy bars. They are cups. They live in a class of their own and as such, deserve their own list. Since Reese's never met a brand extension they didn't feel like exploring, we decided to pit this marvel of modern candy-making against its brethren. Here, you'll find some of Reese's most well-known candies, ranked from worst to best.
White Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Absolutely not. Get them away from me. Is this a joke? White chocolate? You brought white chocolate to the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup party? GET OUT.
Facebook: Reese's Puffs Cereal
If someone can convince me that these wretched things do not look like cat food, I will pay you. Go ahead and try. Also I know this isn't technically candy. I promise it tastes like it is.
These have been discontinued because what the hell were they thinking in the first place?
Reese's, 3 Musketeers has already got this covered. Step off.
Reese's Fast Break
I just don't know if I need nougat and caramel mucking with my chocolate and peanut butter. There was a rumor that this was originally intended to be a breakfast bar -- calm down, it isn't true. They already made cereal, remember?
Okay, now we're getting somewhere. This thing is perfectly good.
What most other Reese's candies lack in crunch, Reese's Sticks make up for in crispy wafers. I love you, crispy wafers.
Reese's Crispy Crunchy
This is the result of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and a Butterfinger having a love affair. We are pleased.
What's that? You took Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and made them easier to eat? Yes, thank you. We'll take eleven billion.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
This includes King Size through Mini, Eggs, Hearts and everything in between (except those white chocolate abominations). If you think that the original Reese's Peanut Butter Cup belongs somewhere other than number one on this list, you are wrong. That is all.