If you can't get a date through any socially acceptable means -- talking to women at parties, online dating, or the old-fashioned setup through friends, to name just a few of the many options -- apparently you should resort to bribery.
At least that's the idea behind new app Carrot Dating. Creator Brandon Wade, founder of sugar baby website SeekingArrangement.com, seems to believe that all it takes to get women interested in a guy is a "gift" (which essentially means a bribe or a form of payment for expected romantic/sexual services).
A press release for the site explains it for those of us who might not understand: "There’s only one method of manipulation that has stood the test of time: bribery. It’s a concept so simple that even animals understand -- give a dog a bone, and it will obey. Give a woman a present, and she’ll..."
She'll what? Honestly, we don't want to know. The release kind of lost us when it compared women to dogs, but we powered through to the best (or worst?) part: "Just as an unfriendly dog wouldn’t deny a tasty treat, any beautiful girl can be bribed into giving you a first date.”
Suggested gifts include a tank of gas or a plastic surgery procedure -- because every woman just wants a Prince Charming who will finance her face-lift in exchange for a taste of faux-romance.
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