Huffpost Divorce

14 Things No One Tells You About Divorce

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When you're getting a divorce, there are just some things that no amount of self-help books can prepare you for, like how jolting it is to walk into your house after your ex has moved out, or that "is this real life?" feeling that inevitably comes when signing the divorce papers.

Below, HuffPost Divorce readers share 14 things they wished they'd known about divorce before going through it. Scroll down to read their responses, then head to the comments and tell us what you think people need to know about divorce before beginning the process.

1. The sadness of a broken family will always linger inside you, ever so slightly, even after you've moved on.

2. Splitting up is not as awful as you think it might be. In fact, you'll be better off in the long run.

3. You'll feel emotionally devastated, even if you were the one who filed.

4. You need to stay true to yourself. Fight for whatever you believe in and always hold your head high, regardless of what happens in the divorce proceedings.

5. You won't realize how hard divorce is on your children. Even if they're teenagers when it happens, it's still painful.

6. If you file and feel guilty about, don't give your spouse everything in an attempt to make amends. The guilt eventually goes away and you're entitled to half.

7. Even a few years after the divorce, sometimes something will take you back to that place of hurt. In that moment, you'll realize how the deep wound you once had is now as insignificant as a paper cut. In those moments, you'll realize how far you've come.

8. You'll be surprised to find out how spiteful your ex can be.

9. Even if you were the one who wanted out, you'll still feel like a failure.

10. No one ever tells you to not wait so long to get a divorce, but they should.

11. You have two choices in divorce: you can either be bitter or better.

12. Stop obsessing over endless worst case scenarios.

13. You won't realize how much it hurts to have another woman in your kids' lives who "mothers" them when they are with their dad.

14. You need to know it gets better. It really does. When it gets bad, just hold on and know that it gets better.

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