Unless you're Lady Gaga, pants are incredibly useful. Same with t-shirts, jackets and the rest -- each clothing item in our closets serves an important function. But every now and then, you stumble upon a piece of clothing that just baffles the mind. You find yourself stopping and thinking, "Why was this even made?" You immediately want to turn to the closest person and ask, "Why would anyone ever wear this?"
We understand. So we've thought long and hard about the stupidest, most impractical clothing items we've ever encountered, the items that leave us wondering just why they still exist. Behold, the 13 most pointless items of clothing ever.
1. Toe socks
Do you really need to make sure that every single toe is bundled? First of all, how long does it take to put on those foot gloves? Second of all, regular socks will do just fine.
2. A hoodie with a huge front pocket
Woolf Clothing created this hoodie with a huge front pocket. Would any guy ever store his stuff in this pocket? It looks like something a forgetful five-year-old's mother would sew onto his sweatshirt to make sure he didn't leave anything behind.
3. A sleeveless hoodie
A hoodie is supposed to keep you warm, right? That's why we are confused as to why someone would wear this "Sleeveless Camo Ninja Hoodie." Why would you want your head warm but not your arms?
4. Cropped vests
Look, we understand cropped jean vests, because fashion. But when the weather starts getting colder, a cropped crochet vest just does not make any sense. And it looks kind of silly.
5. One-sleeved shirts
Hey girl, what happened to the other side of your shirt? It's gone!
6. The "scoodie"
The "scoodie" is a scarf with a hood (this one even has pockets!) The makers of this wonderful accessory say on their website that the inspiration comes from "the attitudes and perspectives of Southern California's street subcultures." We would love to see someone rocking one of these on the street.
7. Hand muffs
There's probably a reason most modern women don't wear these much. They seem pretty impractical if you ever want to hold something, type on a keyboard, eat something or basically do anything with your hands.
8. Cut-out boots
Serious question: How do you keep that one toe peeking out warm in these knee-high boots?
9. Furry sandals
So, do you wear these during the summer or during the winter? These are way too conflicting.
10. Arm warmers
If it's cold enough to need arm warmers, you should probably just wear sleeves.
We're still not entirely sure what purpose the cummerbund serves. Merriam-Webster defines it as a "a broad waistband usually worn in place of a vest." We would just like it to go away, because, frankly, it kills a good tuxedo.
12. Dresses with attached gloves
If you look closely, you'll notice that Kardashian's infamous Met Gala dress has attached gloves. This is something we have never seen before, and it is also something we do not fully understand.
13. The capri sweatpant
Ideally, sweatpants are to be worn to keep your legs warm, right? With the capri sweatpant, your calves are left out in the cold, literally.While we're at it...
This stunning creation was presumably designed based on the perception that no woman wants to leave home without a day-long supply of boxed wine. Fortunately, Jakob Wagner's Baggy Winecoat solves that problem for us all.
Bust Up Gum promises to give women, among other things,"Larger, fuller, firmer breasts," "healthier menstruation," provide "relief of menopausal symptoms," "reduce stress," make women "look younger" and give us "increased vaginal secretion" -- wait, come again? If this product does even half of what marketers claim it does on its website, all of the deepest desires and concerns of the female population can be met by chewing pink bubblegum. Up next: World peace?
If regular flesh-colored bandages have always struck you as a little too drab, you're in luck. The discerning wounded can now purchase Brandages. For $7.95 a pack, your scabs can wear Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Chanel, even if you can't. Phew.
Camping? Running errands with no Starbucks in sight? Afraid of making contact with that Greyhound toilet seat? Do what the men do: P-Mate lets you pee standing up. (Unfortunately, it looks like this.) The manufacturer promises that P-Mate is small enough to fit into your purse -- if it's not already filled with boxed wine.
Every beer lover knows that adding red food coloring enhances a good brew, especially if you are trying to get women to buy it. As a bonus, Molson promises their pink Anime beer is low in calories and "bloat-resistant." If you needed another reason to drink wine, this might be it.
Love getting pedicures but hate limping around in flip-flops in January? "Bootie Pies" adopt that classic removable cast shape -- warm ankles, exposed toes -- and puts it to use for post-pedicure warmth, proving booties aren't just a knitted item for babies anymore." Question: Since when is a "classic removable cast shape" a selling point? Also, isn't the safest route to stay under the dryer at the nail place until the polish is dry enough to put on your shoes without ruining the paint job?
Remii Underwear's motto is "protection meets quality." Their undergarments feature "... patented technology that allows it to be breathable yet waterproof. No more stains to clothing, sheets, or furniture. No more ruining your pretty panties." Furniture?
For those who want to pleasure themselves in the most dangerous way possible. (source)
Perfect for moms who want to look like that guy from "Total Recall." (source)
Everyone will notice your enhanced behind, but probably not in the way you'd like. (source)
Because for the last 2,000 years large-chested women haven't gotten any sleep at all. (source)
Because there's no way women will pick up a wrench if it isn't the color of roses. (source)
This is one treat you must be REALLY careful not to go overboard on, unless you want to be an A-cup at dinner and a D-cup after dessert. (source)
Whatever happened to popping a squat? (source)
We honestly don't understand how this works. What's more confusing is how she managed that weird smile/frown combo in the "before" photo.
For $286, you can wear earrings with long strands of real human hair attached. Yeah, we don't get it either. (source)
At $94.29 a pair, these are quite possibly the most expensive route to looking as cheap as possible. (source)
Tone your face with this rejuvenating mask! If you haven't already scared everyone away by looking like a serial killer, people will think you look great. (source)
Color for the hair "down there." Sure to freak out your partner! (source)