13 Things No One's Going To Steal

11/19/2013 04:11 pm ET | Updated Nov 20, 2013
  • Katla McGlynn Senior Comedy & Viral Editor, The Huffington Post

Paranoid, much?

  • 1 These flip-flops.
  • 2 This Pizza.
  • 3 This Toilet Paper
    ...And don't try to say this a life hack.
  • 4 This lawn chair.
  • 5 Your homeboy.
  • 6 This bottle of Sriracha.
    We know it's delicious... But, come on.
  • 7 Dat hula hoop.
  • 8 This hunk of meat.
  • 9 Your bike made out of balloons.
    Although your commitment to detail is impressive.
  • 10 Your lunch.
  • 11 Your child's toy.
    At least, we hope it belongs to a child.
  • 12 This tree stump.
  • 13 These Doritos.
    The Nintendo DS, we understand. But this?

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