It's cool to hate Facebook now. Satisfaction with the social network has tanked. We promise again and again to finally quit it. And its popularity among the most cool-conscious of us all -- the teens -- is rapidly declining.
Nevertheless, everyone is still on Facebook. So there must be something good there, right? Come to think of it, what would we do without Facebook? Whether you'd like to admit it or not, there are several really good reasons to fully embrace the Zuckernet:
1. It's by far the best way to stalk your ex.
2. You hate seeing random babies on Facebook. But when a family member or close friend posts a pic of their kids, you lose control.
3. Now that it's full of old people, it's fun to see their adorable mistakes.
— Old People Facebook (@OldPeopleFB) November 8, 2013
4. It's a convenient way to screen online dates.
5. Confirmation that your musical tastes are superior. Spotify exposes all the terrible and embarrassing music your Facebook friends are listening to.
6. It's the best way to plan a party. All your friends are in one place. You don't have to find their email addresses or phone numbers. Just create an event on Facebook and invite everyone you know -- and some randoms.
7. It makes running into people you haven't seen in a long time less awkward. Your holiday season run-ins with people from high school are a lot less uncomfortable because you SORT OF know what they're up to. Saying "You live in Chicago, right?" is better than nothing.
8. You can see embarrassing photos of your friends from when they were younger.
"OMG, would we have even been friends back then?"
9. It's the only way you know anyone's birthday anymore. You're no longer obligated to remember anything about anyone, including birthdays. Plus, there's nothing like seeing random people come out of the woodwork to wish you a happy birthday.
10. It's the No. 1 spot to make big announcements and receive adulation.What was once 35 phone calls is now just a status update.
11. You don't get annoying chain emails anymore. These posts are all on Facebook now, and you can just hide your annoying Aunt who falls for all this stuff from your Timeline.