COMEDY
11/25/2013 11:50 am ET

17 Turkeys Who Think They're Better Than You

ASSOCIATED PRESS

It's that dreaded time of year again when the food you sit down to at dinner looks more put together and capable than you ever have in your entire life. It's cold comfort that we get to eat all those Thanksgiving turkeys and sides; every bite is just another reminder that we never got our master's degree or went to Prague.

We'd say just avoid the whole thing and go vegan for the day, but the only thing judgier than a roasted gobbler is a nut loaf.

So in honor of this yearly stock-take – and to hopefully cushion the blow come Thursday – here are 17 turkeys who think they're better than you.

  • 1 They got the silver platter out for me... just sayin'.
    Shutterstock
  • 2 On your best day, you've never looked this good.
    AP
  • 3 Oh, you went to college? Yeah, I didn't need to.
    Shutterstock
  • 4 Sorry, I can't explain what being successful feels like.
    AP
  • 5 I'm sure that one improv show you did was good, too.
    Shutterstock
  • 6 Tiny gourds want to be close to me. You wouldn't get it.
    AP
  • 7 Your band is totally going to take off.
    AP
  • 8 I can't help being hot. Clearly, you can, though.
    AP
  • 9 Your parents love me more than you.
    AP
  • 10 Get a job.
    AP
  • 11 Of course your kids aren't ashamed of you... per se.
    AP
  • 12 You've been going to the gym? I can totally tell.
  • 13 Maybe if you were perfectly charred you could find love.
  • 14 Keep following your dreams... it's adorable.
    AP
  • 15 No one wants to smother you in gravy. Think about that.
  • 16 I'm beautiful on the inside, too. You, however...
    AP
  • 17 Some people just can't make others happy. Live with it.
    AP

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