11/25/2013 09:15 am ET

Ridiculously Silly Turkey Swag From The Darkest Corners Of Etsy (PHOTOS)

There is something about the week of Thanksgiving that makes us feel a little loopy. Maybe it's the feeling of being so close to a break, or maybe it's the pages and pages of turkey recipes we've combed through over the last few weeks. It is possible that this feeling is contagious, because when we typed "turkey" into the search bar on Etsy, some really silly stuff happened.

First, the turkey hats. Did you guys know about turkey hats? You can have your own turkey hat, your baby can have one, even your dogs can have turkey hats. This seems like a new development, but it's entirely possible that we've been willfully blocking these things out of our consciousness. It turns out, you can get a turkey-shaped or -themed version of most things on earth, but we rounded up some of the silliest ones for you to enjoy this Thanksgiving.

  • 1 GOBBLE, GOBBLE Turkey Dog Hat
    Etsy: Sweethoots
    "Please help me."

    GOBBLE, GOBBLE Turkey Dog Hat, $22.00 on Etsy
  • 2 Turkey Baby Hat
    Etsy: AleksandraNagrant
    We're not sure why, but this is making us profoundly uncomfortable.

    Turkey Baby Hat, $34.00 on Etsy
  • 3 Turkey Dog Hat
    Etsy: poshpoochdesigns
    "Please, don't look at me."

    Turkey Dog Hat, $10.99 on Etsy
  • 4 Adult Turkey Hat with Ear Flaps
    Etsy: yankeerose
    Ah, yes. I can see why this version is for adults. It's... bigger.

    Adult Turkey Hat with Ear Flaps, $18.95 on Etsy
  • 5 Thanksgiving Turkey Catnip Cat Toy
    Etsy: SmallWondersArt
    Don't worry, we won't let dogs have all the fun.

    Thanksgiving Turkey Catnip Cat Toy, $7.50 on Etsy
  • 6 Turkey Apple Warmer Crochet Pattern
    Etsy: CrocheTrend
    WAIT, wait. Is an apple warmer a thing? A thing that people know about? With a purpose? Please advise.

    Turkey Apple Warmer Crochet Pattern, $4.99 on Etsy
  • 7 Chocolate Turkey on a Pretzel Rod
    Etsy: candyscandies
  • 8 Beeswax Turkey Candles
    Etsy: catfishcreekcandles
    Anyone else concerned that this is actually made of turkey fat?

    Beeswax Turkey Candles, 3 for $6.00 on Etsy
  • 9 Thanksgiving Turkey Earrings
    Etsy: beyondthebulb
    In case you're auditioning to be someone's kooky aunt.

    Thanksgiving Turkey Earrings, $12.00 on Etsy
  • 10 Turkey Soap
    Etsy: AubreyEApothecary
    Don't worry, it's vegan soap.

    Turkey Soap, $6.50 on Etsy
  • 11 Thanksgiving Turkey Cross-Stitch Pattern
    Etsy: nerdylittlestitcher
  • 12 1971 Wild Turkey Decanter
    Etsy: TesoridEpoca
    Okay, but seriously, we actually want this one.

    1971 Wild Turkey Decanter, $65.00 on Etsy
  • 13 Turkey Nug
    Etsy: nugs
    Weird on, weirdos.

    Turkey Nug, $9.73 on Etsy
  • 14 Turkey Poop Tic Tac Wrappers
    Etsy: CustomWrappers4U
    Everyone always said that Tommy Goheen threw the best parties. Now we know why.

    Turkey Poop Tic Tac Wrappers, $3.50 on Etsy
  • 15 Carved Roast Turkey and Cranberries Dollhouse Miniature
    Etsy: HummingbirdMiniature
    You have got to be really exciting for Dollsgiving to cough up this chunk of change.

    Carved Roast Turkey and Cranberries Dollhouse Miniature, $80.00 on Etsy

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The Turkey Doctor
The Turkey Doctor