My Kid's Insane Christmas Wish List, Annotated

12/04/2013 04:37 pm ET | Updated Jan 23, 2014
Maria Pavlova via Getty Images

When I was a kid, I would dream up completely insane presents to put on my Christmas wish list—shit that no parent could ever possibly afford and no child could ever possibly deserve. And every year, my parents would tell me before Christmas that I would NOT be getting the little race car I saw on the Obstacle Course round of Double Dare. They would sit me down and explain that Santa wasn't a Formula One mechanic and that I shouldn't be a fucking idiot.

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