Huffpost Divorce

This Is The Advice Everyone Needs To Hear After A Breakup

Posted: Updated:
Lilly Roadstones via Getty Images

Post-breakup, pulling yourself out of a pit of despair and soggy Kleenex is not the easiest thing to do. Between wallowing in self-pity and hatching your totally fail-proof plan to win your ex back, who really has the time to move on?

Knowing how tough that whole process can be, we're always on the lookout for advice from someone who's gone through a rough split and come out stronger because of it. When it's as relatable and honest as the advice Redditor intripletime offered on the site late last week, we sit up, take notice and share it with every heartbroken person we've ever met.

As the Redditor tells it, he had been in a relationship with a woman for six months before the honeymoon stage ended, giving way to constant arguments, jealousy and cheating on her part. Despite those mounting problems, he stuck it out.

"I put up with it for another year and a half," he said. "We broke up and got back together half a dozen times. It was incredibly unhealthy. Finally, I made the decision once and for all to break it off for good, and resigned to never speak to her again."

Today he's in a healthy relationship with someone who's loyal, levelheaded and willing to work through any problems that arise. That fact -- and the lessons he shared on getting past a breakup -- remind us that things really do get better post-split.

Take a look at his tips below, then check out the slideshow underneath to read the advice that helped our readers get through their own breakups.

1. If you've "broken up" more than once, it's just not meant to be. Remember that time where the couple fought every day and constantly broke up and made up with each other, and then they got married and had a happy life? Me neither.

2. Changing is a lengthy process that takes time and effort. If your ex claims to have changed, chances are they actually just miss you. It's only been a few weeks, buddy. Do you really think they're suddenly a better person?

3. Backsliding is like eating a Big Mac when you're on a diet. It's good in a very shallow way for about five minutes, and then you realize why it's not worth it. Don't be that guy.

4. It's been said to death but No Contact really is the only way. If you have any voluntary lines of communication with your ex, the breakup will be exponentially more difficult. If they're especially manipulative, they will do anything to break NC. Don't give them the satisfaction.

5. The cliches are true (in spirit, at least). Deleting Facebook and hitting the gym aren't miracle cures, but being proactive in general and working on yourself is always a good thing. Keep your mind off the shitty relationship that you've idealized in your head.

6. You need a buddy to keep you accountable, if you've got one. One of my friends would go so far as to mock and tease me when I'd talk about my stupid ex or hint that I wanted to be with her again. That approach won't work for everyone, but tough love can definitely help. Preferably recruit one of your friends who particularly despises this ex.

7. Your ex is not the end-all be-all. You will laugh at yourself a year from now for thinking this. Trust me.

8. Holding on to this bad relationship is disrespectful to yourself. You only have about 80 years (give or take whatever) on this planet. Every second you waste on this is time you aren't going to get back. Tick tock, dude.

Breakup Advice That Actually Made A Difference
Share this
Current Slide

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter.

Around the Web

Break Up Advice - Huffington Post

7 Breakup Tips For A Broken Relationship - AskMen

Breaking Up Archives - eHarmony Advice

10 Tips to Survive a Break-up | Psychology Today

How To Move On From A Painful Breakup | YourTango

Carolyn Hax: When love comes too soon after a breakup