So you're visiting New York. Congratulations! It's the most wonderful time and the most crowded time of the year here. There are people everywhere, many of whom are not residents of the city.
To help you better navigate of the sea of humanity that is New York City, we've put together a cheat sheet of ways to spot a New Yorker...you know, if you need directions (we're friendly, promise) or just want to talk to us about our fabulous subway system (for the 10th time this week, no, we don't do zones here).
Herewith, 13 ways to spot a New Yorker:
1. We're likely walking quickly past you.
2. While we're on the subject, we treat sidewalks like highways. There are passing lanes (including the street) and everything.
3. We're wearing black somewhere on our person.
4. We have headphones on. Always.
5. We don't need to look happy, nor sad, to be in your presence, we're just intent on getting to our destination.
6. We hail cabs without waiving our arms like lunatics. A simple hand up will suffice.
7. We're not in Times Square. No New Yorker, except people who are forced to go there for their jobs, are there. It's all you.
8. We're not talking to cab drivers through the exterior window to give them directions. Only once you're in the cab, people.
9. We run down subway station steps and escalators. Let's not mosey here. We've got trains to catch.
10. We're probably doing ten things at once.
11. We'll give you directions, but we'll talk so fast you might not understand them.
12. We grimace at the sight of "I ♥ NY" apparel
13. We're not afraid to curse at errant cyclists and taxi drivers.