When J.P. Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon released a Christmas card that showed Dimon and his family playing tennis around their luxurious apartment, plenty in the media saw it as a "let them eat cake" moment for the wealthy financier. "Jamie Dimon forgot the golden rule of one percenters: The ninety-niners need to believe your money has made you miserable," Colbert said. "His Christmas card should have been him weeping alone on a pile of money clutching a sled."

Colbert was left with no choice: Release his own card that features himself waterskiing through the kitchen he had built off his shoe closet.

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  • Snappin'

  • Kitten Kissin'

  • Browin'

  • Thrillin'

  • Gangnamin'

  • Lickin'

  • Kissin'

  • Not listenin'

  • Popcornin'

  • Freakin'

  • Shakin'

  • Catchin'

  • Unfriendin'

  • Grabbin'

  • Screamin'

  • Oopsin'

  • Clappin'

  • Approvin'