13 People Who Just Want Their Craptastic 2013 To Be Over Already

12/20/2013 01:13 pm ET | Updated Jan 23, 2014

As office holiday parties run out of booze and Christmas cookies supplies run dangerously low, it comes time to reflect upon the highs and lows of the past calendar year. Unless, of course, you're busy hiding from the mistakes you made in 2013, and praying that a brand new scandal of 2014 will eclipse your immense public embarrassments of the last 12 months. Here's a list of people we bet cannot wait for 2013 to be over (finally!):

1. Paula "Please Forgive Me" Deen

Deen said it best herself: "I'm gonna be really, really happy to see 2013 gone." Indeed, everybody's favorite Southern Comfort chef came under media fire when news of her alleged racism broke this summer. Deen gave a very teary public apology in September, but the celebrity chef had already lost her Food Network gig and generally become persona non grata for many Americans.

2. Sign-language interpreter at Nelson Mandela's funeral

In 2012, Thamsanqa Jantjie, 34, was basically just your average sign language interpreter, albeit with a seriously shady past and apparently no actual skills in sign language. Then 2013 came and messed everything up: Jantjie was hired to provide sign language translation at the international memorial service for Nelson Mandela. Exciting, right?

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Until Jantjie was accused of faking the entire translation, and became the laughing stock of late night comedy news, prompting spoofs like:

At this point, we think Jantjie would probably be completely content with a job as balloon artist.

3. Ted Cruz & Co.

If you think we're only bringing up this political pariah as an excuse to bust out this Ted Cruz Wrecking Ball GIF one last time...

Well, you're half-right. But, in all seriousness, it's a pretty lousy time to be a Republican and tea party politicians like Cruz are being blamed for alienating the masses. Morale's down, polls are historicaly low, and -- is John Boehner crying again?

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2013 just makes me really sad, ok?

4. Everyone who had anything to do with "The Lone Ranger"

It was just a really, really bad year for this ill-fated summer "blockbuster" and everyone involved in it.

5. Rob Ford's wife

We know what you're thinking: Rob Ford has a wife? Well he does, and Renata Ford took "stand by your man" to a whole new level when the crack-smoking Mayor of Toronto became an international clown show. She shied away from the public eye, though her husband did pretty much the complete opposite.

Oh, and to be clear, Rob Ford also had a very crappy 2013.

6. New York sports fans

Be nice to all the New York sports fans in your life -- because the city's sports teams are rocking the lowest combined record since 1966. If you're the unlucky fan of a NY sports team...


Play it cool. You're embarrassing yourself, New York! Also, remember that nobody feels sorry for you.

7. Justin Bieber's manager

If you think your job is hard, imagine trying to contain this teen star's publicity tornado this past year. Between an alleged visit to a Brazilian brothel, nightclub fistfights and his questionable statement at the Anne Frank house...

.... let's just say it's been a long year. Maybe that's why he recently claimed he was retiring. Don't look back now, Biebs!

8. Megyn "Santa is White" Kelly

Kelly's recent "Santa is White, kids," statement earned her a free Christmas roasting on all the late-night shows. She tried to mitigate the situation with a sincere non-apology, in which she claimed that she was obviously kidding, and c'mon, can't you take a joke?

Two guns means I'm joking, guys

Here's hoping Kelly has a quiet holiday season, during which she shies away from touchy subjects and simply asks her family to, "Please pass the Caucasian-colored eggnog." She's no doubt banking on the Internet's short term memory to erase the -- wait, what were we talking about again?

9. JP Morgan's communications department

Having trouble expanding your company's "social media presence?" You're not alone -- JPMorgan Chase, the country's biggest bank by assets, got deservedly schooled by an angry mob of smart-asses when the company announced their day-long "#AskJPMorgan" Q&A on Twitter. This was apparently a bad idea:

An avalanche of scathing questions rolled in, leading one fan of "36 Chambers" to wonder:

Yes, yes, we believe it is. The JP Morgan Communications team quickly shut down the operation and hid under their desks for the rest of 2013.

10. The contractor behind Healthcare.gov

You know them as the master-minds behind the greatest blunder in the history of the Internet, so you might be surprised to find out that CGI Federal, the contractors behind the infamously error-ridden Healthcare.gov, actually has a rich, vibrant history of seriously screwing up government projects.

A peek inside a CGI Federal board meeting

They say they faced unrealistic deadlines and that the government failed to properly test the system. Here's lookin' at 2014, guys!

11. Lululemon's former CEO

Chip Wilson learned how not to talk about women's clothing after he said that Lululemon yoga pants weren't made for "some women's bodies." He apologized for the gaffe, but still faced the wrath of yogis scorned.

lululemon yoga pants

Lululemon yoga pants are like, VIP, guys

It seems body shaming is pretty much a deal-breaker when you work for a healthy lifestyle brand. On Dec. 10th, Wilson announced his resignation as CEO. Enjoy unemployment. You've totally earned it.

12. Walmart's PR team

Walmart's public image spent most of 2013 sinking into the depths of bad publicity hell. Between a Thanksgiving food drive benefitting its employees and a claim made by an executive that the "minimum wage debate is shortsighted," the brand has only helped strengthen its position as the poster child of everything that's wrong with corporate America.

walmart sale

Try as they might, Walmart will not be having a Holly Jolly Christmas

13. Lamar Odom

Time heals all wounds, but does it get you the hell out of the Kardashian publicity death spiral? We suspect Lamar Odom will find out.

Hey, nothing lasts forever...

The former NBA basketball player had a tumultuous year, but now that Khloe Kardashian has filed for divorce and Lamar's pled guilty in his DUI case, maybe 2014 will be the calm after the storm. Or put him on the road to the NBA championship after the storm. That works too.

What say you, 2014? Can you give us the next big media guffaw to turn these people's mistakes into ancient history? Or, if they're lucky, that guy from "Duck Dynasty" will just willingly put himself in the line of fire with disgustingly ignorant comments about African-Americans and gay people. Oh right.

Also on HuffPost:

  • 9 Samsung Galaxy Gear
    2013 was supposed to be the year of the smartwatch - and it some ways it was. Pebble, Sony and Samsung all released new takes on the retro-futurist staple in the last 12 months. But none of them were compelling products for the mainstream, and none were as disappointing as the Galaxy Gear. With a severe lack of apps, a stripped-back, proprietary interface and nonsensical notifications (which required you to check your phone anyway) this was a product without a purpose. And reports of low sales seem to confirm that it's not long for this world, in its current form. A recent update helped matters a little. But look for Samsung et al (including Apple) to do better next year.
  • 8 Facebook Home
    Facebook Home was supposed to be the social network's trojan horse, ready to turn your Android phone into a Facebook phone through a simple app download. Instead it turned into a disaster, with buggy, poorly designed software and minimal take-up even by Facebook's most committed users.
  • 7 Comet ISON
    Comet ISON was supposed to be the Comet of the Century, lighting up the winter skies brighter than the Moon in full daylight. Instead it approached the Sun, fizzed a bit and then blew up.
  • 6 Microsoft Surface
    Getty Images
    The Microsoft Surface line of tablet computers (both the original RT and the Pro) were ambitious but flawed attempts to take the iPad on at its own game. The RT ran a weird, incompatible version of Windows, while the Pro suffered from a heavy price tag, and a heavy form factor. The new Surface 2 line looks much better - but it didn't arrive before Microsoft had to suffer almost a $1 billion write-down on the RT alone.
  • 5 BlackBerry 10
    When it arrived in January 2013, BlackBerry 10 was already delayed and out-dated. So while it was supposed to take RIM (or BlackBerry, as it is now) back to the mainstream of the smartphone market, it actually contributed to its marketshare declining even further to below 1% in America. It's now focusing on "business" customers, even as its executives struggle to keep the lights on.
  • 4 Wii U
    It pains us to say this, because Nintendo's Wii U console has been responsible for some of the best, most memorable and family-friendly gaming experiences of 2013 from the return of Wii Sports to Super Mario 3D World, Pikmin 3 and the Wonderful 101. But you can't ignore that for most of 2013, the Wii U was painfully underserved with decent games, sold a woefully small number of units and squandered its early start against the Xbox One and PS4. 2014 should bring more great games - including Mario Kart 8 and a new Smash Bros game. But will it be too late?
  • 3 Ouya
    Ouya was supposed to take Android living room gaming and turn it into a grass-roots phenomenon. Instead it gave us the worst controller in recent memory, very few truly stand-out games and and overall feeling of a missed opportunity - beautiful design and commendable ideals aside.
  • 2 Sim City
    EA's reboot of the classic city-building simulation was a beautiful, complex and addictive game - with two fatal flaws. The first was technical, with EA's servers simply unable to cope with the game's online requirements. The second was more fundamental - the game's "cities" were actually restricted to the size of small towns, leading to almost immediate space frustrations when building your idea metropolis. Alas.
  • 1 The PadFone
    2013 was the year that Asus's innovative two-in-one phone-tablet hybrid finally arrived in the UK. And it was a bust, let's face it, with customers failing to take to the notion that having a giant screen to slide your phone into and use as a pretty basic Android tablet was better than just having an iPad next to the sofa. Maybe we'll see another stab at it in 2014 - or maybe Asus will concede that just making a good phone and a good tablet is hard enough.