New Year's Eve, the notoriously overhyped night where people sip champagne and feel semi-obliged to smooch someone at midnight, is almost upon us. Michelle Wolf shared our holiday anxiety when she tweeted, "I can never remember if it's spelled New Years Eve or New Year's Eve or Terrible Night." It's definitely New Year's Eve, but we understand the sentiment.
After a week of food, family and presents, some of our favorite tweeters shared the joys of their Christmas holidays with the internet masses. Sofiya Alexandra's cat definitely won the best pet award: "Good morning my cat just pooped tinsel and won the war on Christmas." And Julia Segal made us all laugh when she wrote, "My Jewish parents always told me that Santa Claus was real and he just didn't like me."
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. And the very next day, you ripped it out in a satanic ritual.
— molly (@Molly_Kats) December 24, 2013
*seeking support group for ppl who keep going to the new bieber album in itunes & hovering over the "buy" button & then closing it in shame*
— Emma Carmichael (@emmacargo) December 24, 2013
Just mentally sorted Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda into each of the four Hogwarts houses. Not proud of this moment.
— Ella Ceron (@ellapalooza) December 24, 2013
I wonder how many people want to cook meth AND get sent to jail for it because Breaking Bad and Orange Is the New Black are both amazing
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) December 26, 2013
There should be a hotel minibar Chardonnay called Rock Bottom.
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) December 21, 2013
I'm so nervous because I think Kylie Jenner might be my style icon.
— Rivka Rossi (@sofifii) December 26, 2013
the day intentionally mispronouncing words stops being funny is the day I hop down a laundry shoot straight to hell
— Ayesha A. Siddiqi (@pushinghoops) December 25, 2013
And like a one night stand, now you wish your Christmas tree would just get the hell out of your house
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) December 26, 2013
If I could I would live on a steady diet of baby cheeks, both facial and butt.
— Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) December 27, 2013
I can never remember if it's spelled New Years Eve or New Year's Eve or Terrible Night.
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) December 26, 2013
My New Year's Resolution is to cancel all the "phantom gyms" I belong to.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) December 27, 2013
New conversation starter at parties for women my age: "So, how's your biological clock doing?" Tried it tonight for the first time. Fun!
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) December 25, 2013
Happy resetting all your parents passwords day
— Lucia Aniello (@LuciaAniello) December 25, 2013
Good morning my cat just pooped tinsel and won the war on Christmas
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) December 22, 2013
Just performed a rendition of the Pitch Perfect cups song with my grandma's prescription bottles. Everyone is crying.
— Nikki (@Squirreljustice) December 24, 2013
Oops, looks like my niece just found out there's no Santa or filter on Grandma's drunk mouth.
— rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) December 25, 2013
My Jewish parents always told me that Santa Claus was real and he just didn't like me.
— Julia Segal (@juliasegal) December 25, 2013
one of the only documentations of my childhood is a pic of me crying naked on a table, covered in chicken pox so I am quite jealous of Blue
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 27, 2013
Is... Is it over? Is the Christmas music over?
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) December 27, 2013