01/02/2014 11:31 pm ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

The Worst Coffee Creamer Flavors Of All Time (PHOTOS)

If you have ever worked in an office, or visited an office where you also drank a cup of coffee, you have probably encountered an insidious thing known as "coffee creamer." Most of these products, either in powdered or liquid form, are non-dairy, and for some reason are nearly always flavored. Is that because of the flavor of non-dairy milk powder is not particularly appealing? Perhaps. But whatever the reason, some truly heinous coffee creamer flavors exist, and we found some of the worst.

Now, if you like non-dairy creamer, you might not hate these. Also, if you want your coffee to taste like an ice cream sundae, a candy bar, a cinnamon bun or something else that isn't just a cup of freaking coffee, you might like these things. I detest them. I would rather pour almond milk, coconut milk, rice milk, even soy milk into my coffee if I could no longer enjoy dairy products. I would personally like to join Dave Grohl (who you might know as the former drummer for Nirvana, or current Foo Fighters frontman) in his one-man crusade against coffee creamer. Whatever you do, PLEASE DON'T TRY THE FOLLOWING AT HOME.





GIFs via Tumblr

Of course if you try hard and believe in yourself, you can set fire to just about anything. Plenty of things that are delicious are also flammable, take booze for example, but only a few combust with the immediate ferocity that the powdered coffee creamer does in the above depiction. Flour, as well, when suspended in the air like dust is insanely flammable -- which is only one of many reasons you don't see us running around chowing down on raw flour.

I am neither a doctor, nor a nutritionist, nor a scientist, but I tend to believe that if Dave Grohl can make it explode with nothing more than a cigarette lighter, I shouldn't ingest it. In case you need further proof, simply based on the fact that they taste abhorrent, check out some of the worst coffee creamer flavors of all time.

  • 1 White Chocolate Macadamia Nut
    International Delight
    Yeah, I'm sure that's what it actually tastes like.
  • 2 Almond Joy
    Of all the candy bars I would like to mix into my coffee, Almond Joy is almost certainly the last.
  • 3 Caramel Macchiato
    Can someone please explain to me why we need to add "smooth latte flavor" to coffee? You understand that coffee is already what you are drinking?
  • 4 Amaretto
    For heaven's sake -- if you need amaretto in your coffee, just grow a pair and pour some amaretto into your coffee. You obviously have bigger problems.
  • 5 Cinnabon
    International Delight
    This has got to be one of the most unsettling brand marriages of all time. I can actually hear us getting fatter.
  • 6 Cold Stone Creamery "Founder's Favorite"
    International Delight
    Scratch that. This is the most unsettling brand marriage of all time. Please, check out the real, live description of this product on the International Delight website:

    "Imagine a Cold Stone Creamery™ favorite, right in your coffee! Brownie, pecan, caramel and fudge flavors mix with the taste of melted ice cream for a wonderful treat any time of day."
  • 7 Girl Scout Cookies
    Some things are sacred and should be off-limits.
  • 8 Red Velvet Cupcake
    There is so much to unpack here:
    1) Bailey's, you are already a perfectly fine coffee addition. WHY do you need to also be a non-alcoholic coffee creamer version of yourself?
    2) Please go to hell, red velvet.
    3) Please someone explain to me the flavor distinction between "red velvet" and "red velvet cupcake."
  • 9 Eggnog Latte
    UGH. What is an eggnog latte even?
  • 10 Vanilla Heat
    International Delight
    Sorry, Vanilla what?

    "Looking for something new? We’ve mixed sweet vanilla flavor with just a bit of spicy heat for a perfectly fresh pairing."
  • 11 Orange
    Orange? ORANGE? Orange is the flavor you've been missing in your coffee all this time? Where are you from, Mars? Florida?
  • 12 Protein-Enhanced Coffee Creamer
    YouTube: Rippedcream
    Okay, it's not really a flavor issue so much as a concept issue, but seriously screw this ad, screw protein coffee creamer. Just drink milk for crying out loud.

Note: Language has been amended to reflect the fact that a number of flammable things are, in fact, delicious and relatively benign.

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